OMG – I So HATE Friggin’ MSN Now

Well, aside from the fact they gave me back the ability to check backlinks only to take it back like, I don’t know, like one of those assholes that give you something and take it back. I don’t know what they’re called, but they’re real assholes. God I hate those guys.

So, aside from making themselves stupid, okay, not stupid, but a major pain in the ass and a search engine I will likely never use, they’ve added something call “Daily Access“, which is apparently presented by Diet Coke (another addition to my list of hate mail). What suckered me in was something about Justin Timberlake wearing a tie and now it’s some sort of hot trend (WTF??!??!?!?!? Do these assholes not ever go out side and wander around the street? Have they not ever been to a used car lot? When did the necktie go out of style? Way to be on top of things, assholes). Man, was I suckered.

What you get is some sort of “news” (I’m using the term incredibly lightly here) about some “trend” (again, using the term lightly. I’m waiting for their next trend: incandescent lightbulbs!) with two “people” (well, some sort of chick and a douchebag) reading the story you clicked on. Wow. Cuz, you know, we can’t reads and stuff. We need these two to spoon feed us crap. Though, to be honest, I do question the average intelligence of people who use MSN Live to actually search for stuff. So maybe they’re on to something and maybe this is necessary for their target audience. But I digress.

What makes this awful is you have some random “hot” chick and some “funny” douchebag giving you “witty” banter. God it was awful. I wanted to take a pencil and poke it through my ears. These people need to fire their writers. That shit was assinine. Straight up assinine with a capital ASS. The “hot” chick is supposed to be the straight person while ol’ Douchy McDouchenbaggen is saying stupid shit about keyboard ties and crap. It is so awful. If those two are actors, I’d advise them to murder their agents for getting them that crap job. Both of them could do so much better. Hell, at this point, I think doing spots for hemroids and herpes would be better. Seriously.

Believe it or not, that isn’t the worst part. Oh hell no. The worst part is when you try to click away from the page. Because of how it’s animated or something, you get these two poor bastards looking at you, blinking (lots of fucking blinking) and then looking at each other to smile awkward smiles at each other (similar to cousins who made out and then didn’t realize they were cousins until they met at grandma’s 80th birthday party). Try to click on a new tab – the compoooter tries to freeze or something. I don’t know why but everytime I click on the damn page it takes almost a full minute for it to let me free. After clicking everyone of the 50 tabs I have open it’s almost like playing roulette or something. Who knows where it’ll land? Just pray that it wasn’t on that fucking page again.

Well done, MSN. You’ve found yet another way to piss me off. Sure, it doesn’t take much to piss me off – other companies and people do it all the time. But surely a company that has so little play in the search place would fly right under my radar, kinda’ like Ask and Mahalo do. But no. Your “innovations” always manage to stick in my craw like potato chip salt in a canker sore you get from being punched in the mouth. MSN, you piss me off.  You’ve pissed me off again.