MSN, You Piss Me Off

I thought waiting a day would make me feel better about these people, but it didn’t.  As a matter of fact, if anything, it convinced me load the car full of flammable materials and drive to Redmond to burn some shit down.

I don’t care how much better your three column start page is, I hate you, MSN.

Yesterday I was treated to the pleasure of fucking Criss Angel looking as gangsta as a 40 year old emo magic boy can on your page.  Nothing says lame-ass more than Criss Angel.  Nothing says fucking lame-ass like Criss Angel looking showing bling (why the hell else would his fucking Timex be showing like that?) and looking all serious.  Look, Criss Angel sucks.  And you know who cares about Celine Dion?  NOBODY.

Next, quit with all the tree-hugger shit already.  Yeah, going green is great.  Everybody should hold hands and plant trees and shit.  I get it already.  But last summer you forced fucking Live 8 down our throats for like three months.  THREE MONTHS!!!!!  And when it bombed, you kept acting like everybody wanted to see it.  And now, yesterday, you run an ad, er, I mean article, where you take all these tips from TreeHugger.com on how to have a green sex life.  A GREEN sex life.  I can tell you, most people do NOT want the color green associated with sex.  It usually means you got the clap or the syphilis or some other sort of nasty, drippy disease from that closing time hook-up at that dive bar.   And who the hell would be turned on by hemp panties but some dirt-headed hippie?  Those just sound like they have nasty rash written all over them.  All this eco-stuff is having the exact opposite effect on me.  I don’t want to save the earth, I want to pave the motherfucker over.

And finally, congratulations for bringing the backlink function back seven months after you killed it.  But you know what?  Having to put a “+” in front of it is ASSinine.  It’s not hard, it’s just stupid.  Grow up.  Besides, it’s not like your rankings have improved.  No matter how hard you try to trick us into doing a search on Live by making it look like we’ll find something compelling in your SERPs, we’re on to you.  Your SERPs are still garbage.  And the thing we end getting “tricked” into searching for is not nearly as exciting as your hype.  You really ought to consider doing like Ask (who is kicking the shit out of you) and pay someone to provide your results.  Seriously.  I can hook you sorry asses up with a phone number.

8 Responses to “MSN, You Piss Me Off”

  1. JDog Says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA……

    Tears as usual my man. Once again another great FUCK Cris, MSwho?, the world..gotta love it! Keep up the good work

  2. SEOHack Says:

    Ahhhhh, thanks, JDog! Now I’m blushing!

  3. Cody Says:

    Who uses MSN anyways? Seriously, MSN has always sucked and it always will.

  4. JDog Says:

    Hey hack! Let’s see if we can get you ranked for…Piss Off MSN

  5. Understanding Google Maps & Yahoo Local Search » Nominations for Rubber Chicken SEM Humor Award (aka the Columbo Award) Says:

    […] MSN, You Piss Me Off […]

  6. OMG - I So HATE Friggin’ MSN Now « The Worst SEO Blog Ever! Says:

    […] salt in a canker sore you get from being punched in the mouth. MSN, you piss me off.  You’ve pissed me off […]

  7. Kendra Wilkinson Says:

    so yeah i just moved to the Valley and im starting to act here! I adore Kendra Wilkinson and this blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: