Alright, so all you all still remember that Jason Gambert fool who was going register “SEO” as a patent or trademark or something? And then all he did was piss everyone off by making fake comments in blogs that called him on his shit? And then we sent seven ways of crazy and decided he was going to be his own lawyer ala Sideshow Bob? Yeah, that fucker. This has nothing to do with him. But if you look in the comments of my (should have been) Pulitzer nominated article (a term I’m using incredibly loosely here), then you’d see the latest controversy brewing: who exactly does Jennifer Linnuste work for?
No offense to Ms. Linnuste, but I don’t know who she is. I can only assume she is incredibly attactive and very intelligent, as are all my readers. What can I say? If beautiful, intelligent people are moths, then I am their flame. Though, I hope that doesn’t mean they start reading this and end up screaming and looking like a burn victic (no offense to burn victims). Anyways, all I’m trying to say is that I’m awesome, and therefore since I am awesome, my readers must be some of the most intelligent, and extemely sexy people in the world. I am not saying that I will light smart and beautiful people on fire. That’s just bad business, especially if someday I plan on kidnapping all of these smart and beautiful people and starting my own high class prostitute empire.
Anyways, so it turns out, Jennifer Linnuste hopped on the Jason Gambert thread and left another interesting tidbit about everyone’s favorite jackass, Jason Gambert. Turns out he takes credit for shit he doesn’t do. Which isn’t a surprise since he more or less took credit for creating the term “SEO” and “search engine optimization”. But as I said earlier, this has less to do with who Jason Gambert is (a jackass) and more to do with who Jennifer Linnuste is (apparently hot and smart). Anyways, a few days later someone came back and said Ms. Linnuste had been shitcanned from getupdated.com, to which Jennifer replied, “Nuh uh.”
So, based on the comments and as little effort as possible, here are the conclusions I’ve drawn:
– Jennifer Linnuste is a super-hot lady with lots of brains since she reads this blog, or at least did once.
– Jennifer Linnuste is Swedish, which, if television has told me correctly, proves my “she’s hot!” theory.
– Don’t piss off Swedes or they’ll do something, like leave a comment on a blog about you being a liar and not having a job.
– Jennifer Linnuste probably still works for getupdated.com, regardless of what the fake Mike Pedone says.
– Mike Pedone may or may not work for getupdated.com, as does some random dude named Clinton (who isn’t Clinton Kelley from What Not To Wear). And this guy Clinton claims to have invented the word “SEO”. And he may or may not be able to dispense fashion advise (I’m leaning towards not).
– I apparently don’t have a life on Friday nights and stay home, getting drunk watching TLC.
– Jason Gambert is still a jackass.
So there you have it – the next big search marketing “controversy” that threatens to pit SEO vs SEO and cause a giant rift in the industry. Or not. Man, I have to go pee.