Archive for the ‘Vanessa Fox’ Category

I May Be an Asshole . . . And a Vanessa Fox FanBoy

June 25, 2007

Okay, so Ms. Fox calls it quits at Google, and some people freak out, and some people, like me yawn. So I put together a post about her quitting, make fun of some people and generally show my ass.

Then she comments on my blog. And says she like the Princess Bride. And I realize I didn’t wish her luck. So, I’m an asshole. But nonetheless, this asshole wishes you luck at Zillow, Vanessa. By the looks of your fan base, it was a wise marketing decision as well as personnel decision. They’re lucky. My company is stuck with me.

Okay, so now that I’ve tried to show that I’m less of an asshole, here comes the scary part. I may be a Vanessa Fox fan boy. You could consider me a part of the paunch-bellied contingent.

After I went back and read her blog, which I always liked because it actually had real life information you could use, I realized I might be a fan boy. Well, maybe fan boy is too strong of a word. Because for everything I thought was cool, there was something I didn’t think was as cool.

This might turn me into a fan boy: the Princess Bride
Perhaps not: Not as much content about the Princess Bride as there is with Buffy

This might turn me into a fan boy: Stealing someone’s pickup to haul boxes
Perhaps not: Not just starting one huge-ass fire with said boxes

This might turn me into a fan boy: This post
Perhaps not: This post

This might turn me into a fan boy: Pictures of Alison Hannigan
Perhaps not: They’re in relation to Buffy (it isn’t that I have anything against Buffy, I just never got into it. And I got tired of hearing about it all the time. Kind of like Pink Floyd and living in the dorms – there’s some shit you just get your fill of.)

This might turn me into a fan boy: The ability to admit there’s questionable music on her iPod
Perhaps not: Instead of it being butt-rock it’s Britney Spears, NSync and Nick Carter (though to her credit, her reasoning as to why is pretty good.)

This might turn me into a fan boy: A very good post about questioning her existence
Perhaps not:TWITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So as you can see, while it’s obvious I’m an asshole, whether or not I’m a Vanessa Fox fan boy is still debatable. Would it be so bad to be one? No, not really. But if I found out she liked shooting road signs and drinking cheap beer (which, incidentally, go together quite well), I’d probably be one. A HUUUUGE one.

Vanessa Fox Leaves Google. I Eat a Burrito. Life Goes On.

June 18, 2007

As mentioned in my post about SMX Seattle, I noticed there was all sorts of male attention being paid to the Vanessa Fox person from Google by what appeared to be a motley crew of the balding, the lonely and the paunch bellied after she spoke in one of the session. It was like she was the Jenna Jameson of search or something. Or maybe the Mae West.

So, last week while my computer was taking the big shit, apparently she went and declared her leaving Google. I didn’t know jack about it until my buddy, Syzlack, gave me the news. See, believe it or not, this industry doesn’t get reported on the news. Amazing, huh? I was totally unaware until I get this IM basically saying, “Hey Dumbass! Where you been? You hear about Vanessa?”

My first reaction, was, “Wow! She left powerful overlords who see and know all the good folks at Google! Good on her! Way to stick it the Man! She must’ve found a wonderful opportunity. ” My second reaction was, “Hmmm.” My third reaction was, “Maybe today I shall work in the nude.” My fourth reaction was, “Nah, I hate it when my ass gets stuck to the leather on my chair. And I feel self-conscious.”

Anyways, after a while, I finally went and read her post. Then I got to thinking about what this might mean for the search industry. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Vanessa will finally be able to go to a frickin’ conference and eat her lunch.

2. Since she’s moving on to Zillow, there will be a sudden shift of interest to the real estate industry by the BLPB crew.

3. NO MORE LISTENING TO HER GO ON AND ON ABOUT BUFFY the fucking VAMPIRE SLAYER AT SEO CONFERENCES!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, c’mon! There were way better shows out there! Discuss how getting banned is like FLCL or something! Or how it’s like maggots pouring out of the belly of a carcass. Or how it’s like waking up in a crappy hotel somewhere after a night of drinking cheap liquor and finding you bedded a homeless person. Just something more relevant to us!

4. The lack of Google attire on her back makes more sense.

5. Search boy geekdom will have to find a new girl to worship. I recommend this fine lady. Though I don’t know if there are any pics to back up her good-lookingness.

6. Unless Google finds another attractive spokeswoman, Yahoo! will suddenly become more relevant.

7. The rest of us will continue to not give a shit.