Archive for the ‘Rebecca Kelley’ Category

Once Again . . . .

February 28, 2008

. . . . I got nothing.

Sure, I could go on about how hard it’s been to “quit” Ms. Fox or how awesome Ms. Kelley is for paying attention to li’l ol’ me. But you’ve all already heard that.

So, since I’ve got nothing, how about this. You give me something to rant about. Afraid to go off about how your co-worker takes a nasty dump and doesn’t use the spray stuff? Let me get it off your chest for you. Sick of all the people calling you Stinky McStinkerton because you took a nasty dump that the smelly spray stuff couldn’t cover? Let me air your grievance. Want to jump in a car and drive to Redmond to light Microsoft’s headquarters on fire? I’ve got a can of gas. But if you’re just thinking out loud, let me shout it out for you. Mad that you looked for poop porn and only found this crap? Let me at it. Tired of loud mouth assholes doing nothing but ranting and bitching? Let me be the loudmouth asshole for you.

All you gotsta’ do is leave you gripe in my comments, or, if you can find my email address on the godforsaken thing, email it to me. If you can’t find it, then here you go (seohack(at)gmail(dot)com). I’ll pick something and if you like, I’ll even keep it anonymous if you like.

Just like a tick keeps you from getting too much blood in your system, I’m hear to keep you from having too much bitching in your system. So let’s let the good times roll!

Who the Hell Is Ron Paul?

January 30, 2008

Seriously, who the hell is he?

I searched for racist on and all I got was some lousy Google page that allowed my to sort “ron” and “paul” from the results.

Is he that one crazy guy that was throwing rocks into a pond? If so, I’m down with throwing rocks into shit. Maybe we could get together and light some dumpsters on fire too. I’m just saying it’s fun. Unless he’s wanting to light dumpsters on fire outside of synagogues and Baptist churches and junk. That I’m not keen on. But out behind the high school or a Starbucks? Right on! As you’re well aware, I’m anti-learning stuff and anti-shitty coffee.

From what I gather from some guy that works with Rebecca Kelley, he’s got some sort of effect on the interweb. And according to the Rebecca, he’s like Snakes On A Plane, but minus anything interesting. Except for that rock throwing thing, if that is him and not some other oldster.

Anyways, if anyone has any information on this Ru Paul, do let me know. Thanks!

Guess What? Yep, Screwed Again.

January 24, 2008

Well, despite my inherent awesomeness, my bid for a SEMMY is dead. Surely, there was some sort of mistake, no?

Apparently, as Syzlak pointed out, “maybe they didn’t think it was that good.” But what wasn’t good about it? I think perhaps he was joking. I mean, c’mon it was the most perfect SEM post ever. It was even about Jill Whalen. Jill Whalen, people, Jill Whalen!

I also noticed that our friend Rebecca Kelley was absent as well, which is curious. Perhaps the infinitely wise judges saw it as R. Kelley and was afraid the posts were about pissing on minors or something? I don’t blame them for not wanting to be associated with that. I mean, sure ,the guy can sing, but pissing on people is un-cool. Well, most of the time it’s un-cool. There are sometimes it’s probably warranted, but Rebecca Kelley, as far as I know, does not pee on people. I’d even be willing to testify to that. Unless she does pee on people. Then all bets are off. At any rate, this is not that R. Kelley, as she once explained on some comment somewhere.

I do have my theories as to why I was hosed **cough**anti-pacific northwest sentiments**cough**cough**, but I give up. It was bad enough to learn about the Google fridge this week, but now this? What the hell am I gonna’ do with all that platinum? I mean, it’s not like I can take it back after melting down those stacks of billet? What the fuck? Look away, just look away, I don’t want you to see my cry like this. Look away dammit!!!

This has also led me to question my Vanessa Fox Fanboy-dom. Once steadfast, it’s really made me start to question some stuff, like if we met, would we really have a few laughs and talk about the Princess Bride and how awesome we both are or would it spin into a Buffy the Vampire Slayer-death march that would just have me politely shaking my head and smiling at Ms. Fox? Maybe it’s time for me start focusing my allegiance on Rebecca Kelley? RKFB does have a nice ring to it . . . . unless of course, the peeing thing . . . .

At any rate, I know where I’m not welcome. So with that, I’m going somewhere I’ll be appreciated. Goodbye, cruel world.