Once upon a time, there was this awesome guy who did awesome stuff named SEO Hack. He was handsome (sorta’, if you squinted). He was intelligent (well, at least on the short bus). He had class (he put the ass in class!). And when this thing called “the Twitter” was rolled out, he stood alone and dared to say he hated it. All he could think of was telling people when he dropped a deuce, took a piss or watched the neighbor smoke a cigarette (that guy smoked a lot of cigarettes). He was in the minority, but he cared not. He hated the Twitter.
And now it’s all he fucking does all day long. Well, more like occasionally every now and then. But he does it more than he updates this crappy, forgotten blog.
Anyways, I’ve noticed lately in my Twitter whateverthehellyoucallit that there are a lot of people who hate the whole Retweet button. They hate it so much, they’re starting to call Twitter names. Well, maybe not names, but they are pissed about something. Blog posts have been dedicated to it. People have gotten on the Sfin and voted to hate it (or something like that; it’s all details, really). All of a sudden, the microblogging platform that could has pissed off a whole shit load of people.
First off, all you all are late to the “I hate Twitter” party. I had it already, emptied the keg and turned off the lights. Where the fuck were all you then?
Secondly, really? All you all are getting panties all knotted up over a friggin’ button? I don’t get it. I mean, it’s not like you have to use the fucking thing! Don’t like it? Then don’t use it. Just get all ol’ skool on that shit and put “RT” in front of your retweets. Seriously, I can still see them if you do that. It’s not like they disappeared. It’s not fucking rocket science.
What I think this boils down to is that people are looking for something to be pissed off at. Much like a hipster at a fucking hipster convention (lock the doors and burn the building!) trying to be more ironic by mocking his friend’s Atari t-shirt (I know, who’da thunk he had friends?!?!?), the people who are hating on a stupid button are simply looking to be pissed off. When you look at it, in the whole scheme of things, this retweet button bullshit is small potatoes. Take it from a guy who’s always tilting at idiotic windmills getting pissed off about stupid shit – it doesn’t matter. Really,you’re all still gonna’ die in 2012 regardless of your feelings about the stupid retweet button.
So, go ahead and hate the Twitter and bitch about the retweet feature. I mean, hell, I’m sitting here watching the Golden Girls bitching about people bitching about the retweet thing. Afterall, bitching and moaning about shit that doesn’t matter IS the American way!