This Is As Inspirational As I Get

So, if you can’t tell by the frequent updating I’ve been doing lately (that was supposed to be sarcastic) I’ve been in a little funk.  And the fact I’m using the word funk, which represents quite possibly the third worst kind of music (preceeded by disco and whatever jazz they play where it’s a bunch of assholes playing a bunch of random shit) indicates as much.  But enough about the kind of music I hate (there really is quite a bit).  Jayzus I use parenthesis a lot (surprise surprise!).

Anyways, earlier today I was chatting with none other than the Mr. Syzlak about getting us potentitally getting our shit together and kicking a little ass.  Or something like that.  Basically, since I’ve been laid off, I’ve been looking around and wondering what the fuck I’m doing and what I should be doing.  It’s been about everything from whether I should take a shower today (vote was no) to what to do about the Hackmobile (still for sale – call me!).  And then great sage sent me one of those inspirational blog posts where in the comments everybody says cheery shit like “Here here!” and crap like that.  But the blog post was spot on, and got me to thinking of the philosophy I’ve been pondering since I heard some jerk on the TV say it a month or two ago – “we all need to just learn to be happy with what we have, man!”

Why not be happy with what I have?  Why shouldn’t Syzlak be happy with whatever he has (enter your own venereal disease joke here)?  Why can’t we all just be happy with what we have?

As I left my conversation with Mr. Syzlak to investigate the shower dilemma further, I realized that the reason I, or Syzlak, or whoever else seem to be unsatisified with their lot isn’t hapy with whatever it is we have is because that philosophy is total fucking bullshit.  It’s just a bunch of New Age, feel good hippie bullshit to make you okay with the fact all you did all day was smoke a bunch of dope and watch Dora the Explorer.  You might have watched Spongebob or Star Trek, but you couldn’t get your lazy ass off the couch to find the remote. But that’s okay, because you’re happy with what you have, even if it some annoying little bitch and a monkey.

And I almost fell for it.

If our ancestors were just happy with what they had, we’d all be sitting around in a fucking cave somewhere picking scabies and fleas off each other.  There’d be no porn, no booze, no cars or any of the other shit that makes living today in this day and age fucking awesome.  We’d all be sober, walking everywhere and wishing to see some random boobs while wondering if there is a faster way to quickly cook some fucking popcorn while simultaneously making our whole friggin’ house stink.  It wouldn’t matter that amps didn’t go to 11 because there’d be no amps to crank and piss off the neighbors.  We’d all be content that our cars are quiet and ride at factory height. There’d be no Shakespeare, no Beethoven and no Ziggy.  Or even Ziggy with nipple on his nose, because everyone would be happy with regular old Ziggy.

And forget about bacon.

Screw being happy with what you have.  Strive to have better.  Work your ass off to get what you want, not just what you need and what you’d be content with.  There’s nothing wrong wanting more, wanting better, or hell, just wanting.  If no one wanted anything, we’d all be out of a job.  Well, I’m already out of a job, but you know what I’m getting at.

So, do what that one blog post says – get busy living or get busy dying.  And if you’re happy with what you have, fine.  But don’t let some asshole convince you that you need to be content or happy with whatever it is you have when you’re not.  While that jackass might not be trying to sell you anything, he’s wrong.  There’s not a damn thing wrong with wanting better.

Christ, I sound like a friggin’ motivational speaker or something.

6 Responses to “This Is As Inspirational As I Get”

  1. Owlette Says:


  2. David Mihm Says:

    I think I see the next Matt Foley coming into his own.

  3. Rebecca Kelley Says:


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