They actually featured a website, used the word “keyword” and did some other crap which means I can actually post a legitimate, SEO-related something or other about Top Chef and it will be half-assed relevant! Which is great, ‘cuz rarely do I do anything full assed.
So anyways, from a search marketing point of view, it makes a lot of sense for Delish.com to have their site pimped by Top Chef. I mean, hell, I didn’t remember the name of the site (again, shut the fuck up, Dad!) but was able to go the interweb and find it by doing this awesome search for “top chef recipe website from quickfire challenge”. And I found the friggin’ site! You know why? That’s right. SEO. And can you imagine how much traffic they got from people who weren’t dumb assholes like me that actually could remember the name of that site (because they weren’t getting yelled at for not having a friggin’ job) or even knew that Delish.com existed? I know, right! That’s a lot of traffic. And now if Bravo would quit being a bunch of stingy bitches and link out to that shit from their TV listings, I might not of had to use the Google at all. Just sayin’, quit being a bunch of tight asses, Bravo. It’s a real for real website. I even used the son of a bitch to find a recipe for the only ingredients I had on-hand: gin, honey nut Cheerios and garlic salt (turns out they only recommend drinking the gin. Go figure.).
So, what lessons have we gleaned from tonight’s episode of Top Chef? Well, first off, if you have a website about food and junk this might be a good offline avenue for getting online traffic. Second, Bravo won’t link to your site even if they feature it on the friggin’ episode. Third, Eli is punk ass who totally let Ashley go home for his shitty idea. Fourth, sometimes it pays to be Picasso’s paint brush cleaner (really, dude, you were gushing) than on a team with Eli, who is a punk ass bitch who let you hang for his shitty dish idea. Fifth, I hate Eli right now and will beat his punk ass down if I ever see him, so he’s pretty much safe unless my old man falls asleep before I do and I take his wallet and car keys. And that piece of shit starts (who knew the Yugoslavians weren’t so good at building cars?). Sixth, the only thing you can really do with gin is drink it, though I didn’t learn that lesson watching Top Chef but rather on Delish.com.
And on that note, there’s a gin and garlic salt and tonic waiting for me.