Vinnie Penn Is An Idiot and Top Chef Is Still AWESOME

Alright, so it turns out I’m more interested in the TV these days than search marketing, but I’ve made me peace with that.  But what I’m not at peace with is Vinnie Penn’s idiotic article about Top Chef.  If you want to know what it’s about, go ahead and read the damn thing.  Basically, it was MSN’s weak ass attempt to have something on their homepage about a very popular show.  Okay, fine.  I mean, it got my dumb ass to click on it and read it.  So it worked.  But here’s my bitches in no specific order.

But the article itself is bullshit.  Seriously.  First off, he’s comparing a TV show to a friggin’ network.  Now, maybe it’s because I don’t watch TV professionally, but I’m pretty sure a single TV series about chefs in a competition is a little more limited in what it shows, than say, A WHOLE FUCKING TELEVISION NETWORK DEVOTED TO FOOD.  But what do I know.

Then this Vinnie-guy has this “New York is the center of the universe how dare they have a food show in a low-rent place like Vegas” attitude.  They had the show in fucking Miami.  My point?  Who cares where the hell it is or if there’s a “food scene”.  Does Miami really have a food scene?  Really?  There’s a signature Miami food that’s only good in Miami?  If having a fucking signature dish in a city is what’s important, then I’m sure friggin’ Top Chef Philadelphia will make Mr. Penn happy. Or not because it’s not in friggin’ NYC.  At least he conceeded Chicago has good food.

So what else pissed me off?  This whole “as opposed to the ones where I can ogle at the presentation and sometimes even the presenter (Giada De Laurentiis anyone?)” quote.  Seriously?  This guy blind?  On Top Chef you not only have the lovely Padma Lakshmi and Gail Simmons.  Now, if you know how to count, that’s TWO hot ladies in ONE show, versus one gal of questionable attractiveness in one show.  It’s just simple math.

The final irritant is the whole Tom Colicchio versus Bobby Flay and Next Food Network Star.  First off, Colicchio is fucking awesome.  Flay is alright, he’s tolerable, but he’s no Colicchio.  Besides, I’m prNFNS hasn’t been around nearly as long, feels like it’s trying to be Top Chef knock off (kinda’ like The Fashion Show being a knock off for Project Runway) and it has a parade of hosts/judges.  Last year it was that one guy from Good Eats.  Who knows who it will be next year.  And maybe that was the first season this guy Vinnie Penn watch Next Food Network Star.  And if it was, then he’s talking out is ass a little.  Which if fine, ‘cuz I do that quite a bit.

While I think the article is generally crap, there is one point I have to agree with Penn on.  Toby Young kinda’ sucks.  Not kinda’, he does.  He brings nothing to the table. He has the personality of shoe leather.  He’s as funny as herpes.  He has no cooking merit.  If they wanted an asshole who’s never worked in a kitchen to sit there and “snarky” (and by snarky I mean not funny, just trying to be mean) comments, then they should’ve hired me.

So, here’s the take away.  Vinnie Penn’s article is dumb. If it had been about how lame Toby Young is, I’d have been on board.  But Giada is no Padma or Gail, Colicchio is fucking awesome, Top Chef is still good, NFNS is kinda’ lame and because Vinnie Penn wrote this dumb article, I think he’s dumb.  More directly, I think he’s an idiot (though he probably think I’m a prick, so fair is fair).

12 Responses to “Vinnie Penn Is An Idiot and Top Chef Is Still AWESOME”

  1. Admiral Ackbar Says:

    this article is a trap

  2. natebedortha Says:

    Dude, change this to “The Worst Top Chef Blog Ever!” and write weekly recaps! Guaranteed add to my feed reader!

    • seohack Says:

      hmm, a request of something like that from someone as esteemed as you is making me seriously consider this . . . hmmmmmmmm

  3. devilman676 Says:

    Completely agree with you. Flay is Flay but he’s not on the Colicchio, Bouldard, Bourdain, or Ripert level…This clown has no idea what he is even talking about…damn link bait…HA!

    Gail for breakfast.
    Padma for lunch.
    Giada for dinner.

    NOM FUCKING NOM!

    • seohack Says:

      LOL! heheheh, i personally would put rachel ray in giada’s place, but that’s what makes america great. USA! USA! USA!

  4. Owlette Says:

    As always, a dreadful post that is complete and utter shite. Well done!

  5. Tampa Web Design Says:

    Man this blog sucks

  6. Rebecca Kelley Says:

    Top Chef rocks. Eff that guy right in his non-foodie A.

    • seohack Says:

      AMEN. dude needs to learn to watch the TV. coincidentally, i’m offering a correspondence course in the subject!

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  8. 7 String Bass Says:

    Excellent post. There’s lots good data here, although Used to want to let you know something – I am running Mac with the up-to-date beta of Firefox, and the layout of your blog is kind of strange for me. I read the actual articles, but the navigation doesn’t work so well.

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