iPhone + Twitterific = Me Fucking Annoyed

It’s bad enough that I got traffic the other day for the phrase “tweet cred”.  But then I see that I also got traffic from something called “Twitterific”.  And where was the source of this Twitterific traffic?  A goddammed iPhone.

Lookit, I realize that cutesy Twitter-related words and phrases are here to say.  As sick as it makes me, as much as it makes me want to pick up my laptop and gouge my eyes out, as much as it makes want to make up another nonsense phrase to illustrate my rage, I’m realizing I’m in the minority here.  But the double whammy of a friggin’ iPhone and cutesy Twitter phrase illustrated by a page?  This is too fucking much.

Go ahead and rub it in my face that you have an iPhone and I don’t.  It’s fine, really.  Go ahead and annoy the holy fucking hell out of me with cutesy Twitter phrases.  I’m getting numb to it.  But please, for all that is good in this world, don’t hit me with both.

Vinnie Penn Is An Idiot and Top Chef Is Still AWESOME

Alright, so it turns out I’m more interested in the TV these days than search marketing, but I’ve made me peace with that.  But what I’m not at peace with is Vinnie Penn’s idiotic article about Top Chef.  If you want to know what it’s about, go ahead and read the damn thing.  Basically, it was MSN’s weak ass attempt to have something on their homepage about a very popular show.  Okay, fine.  I mean, it got my dumb ass to click on it and read it.  So it worked.  But here’s my bitches in no specific order.

But the article itself is bullshit.  Seriously.  First off, he’s comparing a TV show to a friggin’ network.  Now, maybe it’s because I don’t watch TV professionally, but I’m pretty sure a single TV series about chefs in a competition is a little more limited in what it shows, than say, A WHOLE FUCKING TELEVISION NETWORK DEVOTED TO FOOD.  But what do I know.

Then this Vinnie-guy has this “New York is the center of the universe how dare they have a food show in a low-rent place like Vegas” attitude.  They had the show in fucking Miami.  My point?  Who cares where the hell it is or if there’s a “food scene”.  Does Miami really have a food scene?  Really?  There’s a signature Miami food that’s only good in Miami?  If having a fucking signature dish in a city is what’s important, then I’m sure friggin’ Top Chef Philadelphia will make Mr. Penn happy. Or not because it’s not in friggin’ NYC.  At least he conceeded Chicago has good food.

So what else pissed me off?  This whole “as opposed to the ones where I can ogle at the presentation and sometimes even the presenter (Giada De Laurentiis anyone?)” quote.  Seriously?  This guy blind?  On Top Chef you not only have the lovely Padma Lakshmi and Gail Simmons.  Now, if you know how to count, that’s TWO hot ladies in ONE show, versus one gal of questionable attractiveness in one show.  It’s just simple math.

The final irritant is the whole Tom Colicchio versus Bobby Flay and Next Food Network Star.  First off, Colicchio is fucking awesome.  Flay is alright, he’s tolerable, but he’s no Colicchio.  Besides, I’m prNFNS hasn’t been around nearly as long, feels like it’s trying to be Top Chef knock off (kinda’ like The Fashion Show being a knock off for Project Runway) and it has a parade of hosts/judges.  Last year it was that one guy from Good Eats.  Who knows who it will be next year.  And maybe that was the first season this guy Vinnie Penn watch Next Food Network Star.  And if it was, then he’s talking out is ass a little.  Which if fine, ‘cuz I do that quite a bit.

While I think the article is generally crap, there is one point I have to agree with Penn on.  Toby Young kinda’ sucks.  Not kinda’, he does.  He brings nothing to the table. He has the personality of shoe leather.  He’s as funny as herpes.  He has no cooking merit.  If they wanted an asshole who’s never worked in a kitchen to sit there and “snarky” (and by snarky I mean not funny, just trying to be mean) comments, then they should’ve hired me.

So, here’s the take away.  Vinnie Penn’s article is dumb. If it had been about how lame Toby Young is, I’d have been on board.  But Giada is no Padma or Gail, Colicchio is fucking awesome, Top Chef is still good, NFNS is kinda’ lame and because Vinnie Penn wrote this dumb article, I think he’s dumb.  More directly, I think he’s an idiot (though he probably think I’m a prick, so fair is fair).