About how I wish I were Mexican. Not because I love Mexico or Mexicans necessarily, but mostly because then I might have been given a fucking cool name, like Guillermo del Toro. Though honestly, as cool of a last name “del Toro” is (and is it waaaay fucking cool!), I’d be happy with Guillermo for a first name. There’s not a lot of Guillermos around, or at least not around here. And if someone said my name without rolling the “r”, I’d totally be that jackass that corrects them.
Yeah yeah yeah, I know Guillermo del Toro is Spanish. But face it, Spaniards are just fancy Mexicans just like Englishmen are just fancy Americans. I know all you Spaniards and Englishpeople (that isn’t a word, is it?) are probably pretty apalled by that, but it’s the truth. We’re just the lowbrow version of you people.
And that’s okay.