What a week, huh? GM files Chapter 11, California is down to its last dime (perfect time for someone to take over a government! Anyone game?) and it looks like David Carradine may have accidentally hung himself doing something he probably didn’t want all of us to know he was into. Though, there is some good news. Now that SMX Advanced is over, we can go back to looking at our Twitter feeds without seeing half a dozen twats about what we’re missing every five minutes.
So anyways, when I was putting this together, I was thinking, “Man, this may be the best one yet! Maybe this will be the ticket to regaining the respect of my colleagues. Maybe I’ll get that coveted fifth reader!” Then I finished it up and realized that it’s not only not as good as I had hoped, it’s pretty bad. Like, I might be back to two readers. I actually put effort into finding and noting stuff all week too and all it got me was this shitty post. Oh well. Either way, it was an educational week.
2. The Excalibur needs to do a better job of keeping their employees busy. The only thing sadder than robbing a store for smokes with a sword is using your mom’s Altima for a getaway car.
3. Who needs Congress when you can leverage ICANN to fuck over the little guy? Even if you stand to gain from some bullshit like that, you have to admit it’s bullshit. This is why you should never trust groups of people.
4. Can white women and black women get along? Let’s find out with two bikini-clad contestants in a pit of Jell-O or mud! No? Panties and a pillow fight? Ask a stupid-ass question, get a sexist answer.
5. If California passed a stupid tax, they might actually get over their budget deficit. What’s even more amazing, one of these stupid assholes actually not only graduated from law school but also passed the fucking Bar exam. What the hell? Thanks for uncovering this dietary advice, Mr. Pilatowski!
6. Few things make me laugh and smile as much as the thought of a cat shitting in a toilet. I’d like to say that the video cracked me up, but thanks to my fucking awesome connectivity from Hughesnet I gave up after waiting ten fucking minutes for the fucking thing to fucking load. Oh my god I need a fucking drink. So tell me, did he sit there with a little magazine or newspaper like we do? Just curious, because, you know, the whole Hughesnet thing and not being able to see that what I am to assume is a fucking awesome video of a cat shitting in a toilet. Really, my dreams are simple dreams.
7. A brothel in Nevada is actually creating jobs. I know a lot of people are syaing this won’t pencil out because of the “needs of a woman”, but to all those naysayers, I disagree. Men are willing to pay sex. Imagine how little you’d have to pay them to work in a brothel. Hell, give them a logo T-shirt and a free dinner at Sizzler and you’d still be turning away applicants. This will work.
Alright, time to find some pants to wear to the Wal-Mart. Apparently they’re getting all fancy and junk and are going to require such things now. Fucking rich people ruin everything.