Archive for March 20th, 2009

7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week.

March 20, 2009

So, basically, for the last few months of unemployment, I’ve not been on the interweb so much.  As such, the following is going to totally suck.  Really.  I think your time would be better spent hitting yourself in the balls, or if you don’t have balls, hitting your neighbor in the balls.  Really.  And don’t blame me for it sucking.  Oh hell no.  I’m not taking the fall for this one.  I’m blaming Lifetime and their three hours of Wife Swap they have on every day.  Speaking of which, I gotta’ go.

1.  I told you all the  Twitter was no good.

2.  Someone finally found something good to do with sheep.  Well, besides making tasty street food that the Streko used to torture me about having access to.  Bastard.  I’d be eating Saltines and butter and he’d be all, “Guess what I had for lunch?” and I’d be all, “I dunno.” And he’d be all “Lamb kabob, you poor dumb fucker who doesn’t get to eat tasty lamb and yellow rice!”

3.  Jessica Simpson is exactly as smart as we think she is.

4.  I have nothing to say about this, except that it made Syzlak smile. And if it made him smile, it’s either really fucking awesome or something really fucking horrible.  Either way, it’s better than Al Roker.  So, it must really fucking awesome.  Okay, moving along . . . .

5.  Fred Durst is apparently making his last loop in the fame toilet.  And who knew he was that old?  Now, he just looks like that creepy guy in the bathroom at the bar who’s talking loudly about having banged some hot, young chick a million years ago.  Way to be that creepy guy, Freddy.  Though, to his credit, when’s the last time anyone thought of Fred Durst?

6.  Damn, that Facebook redesign must really be crap.

7.  Criss Angel is still a douchebag.  I’m glad to see some thing never change.

There you have it, assuming you actually made it through this and didn’t take my advise and punch your neighbor in the balls.  I bet you wish you had now.