Alright, all you all, though some asshole at the Slate thinks getting rid of August is hot shit, I disagree. First off, “Friendship Day” the first Sunday of every August (I know, who gives a shit?). Then there’s the hallowed Dia de Santa Rebecca, our patron saintess of all things awesome about this industry. And then there’s the celebrated day of birth of our own gritty SEM rockstar, Mr. Syzlak.
What? You didn’t know Mr. Syzlak was an SEM Rockstar? Hell yeah, motherfuckers! And not one of those fakey “rockstars” either that are just “popular” and shit. He actually knows how to play the geeeeetarr or something. Not only that, he drinks gasoline, smokes dynamite and vomits asphalt. Yes, Syzlak is that fucking hardkore. Not no wussy-ass hardcore with a “c”, hardKore with a capital “K”. HardKore.
So anyways, as if we needed another excuse to get drunk tonight (well, those of us not at a conference), here’s to you, Comrade Syzlak. May PDX smell like puke in your honor tonight!
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August 20, 2008 at 4:32 pm |
I hope all your readers realize that if it’s my birthday, then by default it is your birthday as well.
August 21, 2008 at 5:32 am |
Once, years ago, I was sleeping on a dog bed in San Diego, crashing with a couple of friends until I got bored and hitchhiked back cross-country. Every morning one of these friends got up and grabbed his guitar and a pack of Winston reds and went in to the bathroom, where he would sit and smoke a few cigarettes while playing the guitar and dropping a deuce. I thought that the only thing that could be more rockstar than that would be if he was also doing blow off of a stripper/model/hooker’s ass. That is, of course, until I found out about Syzlak. Happy birthday, rockstar.
August 22, 2008 at 12:34 pm |
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