Alright, all you all, though some asshole at the Slate thinks getting rid of August is hot shit, I disagree. First off, “Friendship Day” the first Sunday of every August (I know, who gives a shit?). Then there’s the hallowed Dia de Santa Rebecca, our patron saintess of all things awesome about this industry. And then there’s the celebrated day of birth of our own gritty SEM rockstar, Mr. Syzlak.
What? You didn’t know Mr. Syzlak was an SEM Rockstar? Hell yeah, motherfuckers! And not one of those fakey “rockstars” either that are just “popular” and shit. He actually knows how to play the geeeeetarr or something. Not only that, he drinks gasoline, smokes dynamite and vomits asphalt. Yes, Syzlak is that fucking hardkore. Not no wussy-ass hardcore with a “c”, hardKore with a capital “K”. HardKore.
So anyways, as if we needed another excuse to get drunk tonight (well, those of us not at a conference), here’s to you, Comrade Syzlak. May PDX smell like puke in your honor tonight!