7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week

Damn, what a week! Not only did I learn a bunch of crap, I actually worked and shit! Amazing, I know. But seriously, it’s been crazy. There’s a ton of drama in this fishbowl of an industry, some of it I was drawn into. Yes, I asked for my Sphinn submisson to be pulled when I realized it was bad juju. But that’s not the only bit of it. There’s the lingering Blogher crap, which showed me some people have no humor, and then the whole dust up over that one article that one guy wrote for SEOmoz. Know which one I’m talking about? I’m sure you do. Anyways, all this crankiness and aggressive behavior leads me to one conclusion: the industry needs to get laid.

Plus, on a sad note, Estelle Getty passed on. Because I’m not very bright, every morning I would wake up with my TV tuned to Lifetime and wonder what the fuck happened to me the night before. And then I’d remember I was curled up on the couch cuddling a 32 ounce cup of gin and tonic. I love me the Golden Girls. Some of the funniest shit you’ll ever see, even twenty years later. And a huge part of it was the way Ms. Getty played Sophia Petrillo. She was the perfect foil to Dorothy’s more rational, common sense POV as well as to Bea Arthur’s timing. It was always nice to imagine her out there somewhere raising hell. Yeah, I know it’s acting, but she played that role brilliantly. Rest in peace, “ma”.

So, enough about the homelife. Here’s what I learned on the interweb:

1. I’m not crazy! There – vindication, and by an astronaut none the less!

2. MSNBC loves their puns. I just wish instead of “stalking”, they would have went with “stocking” in the title tag for that page. Get it? “Stocking” the Pantyhose Bandit”? Hahhahahahh! Well, screw you then. It’s not like I write for the fucking New Yorker or something. If you think my writing sucks, might I recommend the fine works of Michael Johnson.

3. Believe it or not, a conference called “BlogHer” has all female panels. No shittin’! Surprised? Eh. Me neither. But some people seem to be. Perhaps they’ll enjoy SES San Jose this year.

4. Apparently, Snickers has decided to go with Mr. T over Jesse Jackson for their “Get More Nuts” campaign.

5. Poetry sucks compared to the perfect cake.

6. Not satisfied with fucking up the interweb by essentially creating the MFA phenomenon, Google launched Knol. Great, after sifting through fucking Wikipedia listings, I’m gonna’ have to sift through a bunch of fucking Knol listings. As soon as they figure out the best way to monetize these, we’re gonna’ be super-fucked. Well, at least until the world realizes there are other search engines besides Google.

7. There are some freaky-ass pigs out there. Or perhaps we’re getting a glimpse of our future monkey pig overlords?

Alright, I’m gonna’ go see if there’s a Golden Girls marathon on somewhere. Sorry it took me all day (Pacific time!) to get this handled.

7 Responses to “7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week”

  1. Syzlak Says:

    No mention of my particularly excellent Bea Arthur impression?

    For shame.

  2. Rebecca Kelley Says:

    Hack, I just wanted to say…

    Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again…

  3. Melanie Phung Says:

    You’re welcome for the hat tip. Happy to oblige. After all, you’re a pal and a confidante.

  4. Jane Says:

    Re: pig. Totally shopped.

  5. Kim Krause Berg Says:

    “Anyways, all this crankiness and aggressive behavior leads me to one conclusion: the industry needs to get laid.”

    Funniest thing I’ve read all week!

  6. streko Says:

    our clique is growing. i’m gonna have to start dropping bombs and cussing mother fuckers out for a whole new group of people soon.

  7. Melanie Phung Says:

    I agree with Kim – you may just have earned yourself Quote of the Week status =)

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