7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week

Alright, so another week down the drain. And it seems this week the Plurk hit “the big time” – and by big time I mean the industry is all hot and bothered about it. How can you tell? There’s several ways. First, people start calling themselves and other people on the medium some nauseating, cutesy term that incorporates the platform’s name or a variation of. For the Twitter, I assumed it was twats. For the Plurk, it appears to be plurkers. Accompanying names is the next sign: annoying vocabulary, or plurkalary, as friggin’ Syzlak likes to call it. The final sign is an abundance of articles espousing the wonders of the Plurk are starting to show up on the Sphinn, giving marketers tips on how to market to other, er, umm, marketers.

Anyways, on to the edumacational segment of this broadcast!

1. Some guy in Australia got bit on the cacker by a snake and drank rum to “fix” it. I don’t know what else I could add to this.

2. Big Head Teddy may not ever win, but may end up as McCain’s VP. Or maybe the Geico Gecko will. Hell, I really need to spend more time reading these things. Anyways, Big Head Teddy or the Geico Gecko may or may not be a on some sort of vice president short list.

3. Billy Idol is responsible for one of the worst songs of the 80’s, or perhaps of even all time. I mean, what the hell? There’s no amount of Billy’s sneerage that can save this turd of a song. Seriously. From the cheese-dick hand-clap drum strikes or whatever the fuck those were to the lame-ass synth solos to horrible lyrics, it’s just everything I loathe about the genre. Even the fucking bondage-themed dancers don’t seemed inspired by this crap-fest of a song! If I had heard this song before watching the Wedding Singer, I so would have been cheering for Glenn to take Billy out. Fucking wanker. This totally ruined Dancing With Myself for me forever. Fuck you, Billy Idol. And fuck you classic rock radio station for continuing to place this shit. Fuckers.

4. Not only is bacon fucking awesome, bacon is fucking healthy!

5. I’ve been nominated for an award that I think we can all agree on – Worst Blog Ever! Help a fucker win something, won’t you?

6. I know what it’s going to look like when I go to hell. On the upside, Cirque du Soleil are offering me the opportunity to win a chance to punch Criss Angel in the fucking face. Silver linings and all that.

7. And, for the final reference to Ms. Mel, Happy Friggin’ Birthday! Seriously, you should have just wrote this today. Anyways, hope it’s a good one and I apologize for the late present. Apparently, it’s not a good idea to ship one of those giant cakes full of strippers across country. I guess they die and stuff. But it’s the thought that counts, right?

Alright all you all, hope that wasn’t too painful.  Have a good weekend and junk.

6 Responses to “7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week”

  1. Melanie Phung Says:

    Wait, so I’m not getting the strippers?

  2. streko Says:

    fuck plurk, fuck Australia’s snakes, fuck big head ted, fuck billy idol, fuck bacon, fuck blog nominations, fuck criss angel.

    happy birthday to mel.

  3. streko Says:

    @mel – i got 6 male strippers, 2 grams of crystal and the best of “flock of seagulls” cd being delivered to you in about 3 hours. have a fun time.

  4. seohack Says:

    @ mel – sorry, they’re now considered “evidence”. =( who knew there weren’t than many airholes in those cakes?

    @ streko – good morning, sunshine!

  5. Rebecca Kelley Says:

    Criss Angel has the douchiest hair ever.

  6. greatscott! Says:

    Fucking Criss Angel. That cockwad calls his fan club “The Loyal”? Who the fuck does he think he is, Thulsa Doom?

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