Okay, first a warning. This week’s 7 really, really sucks. That whole job thing got in the way of me learning anything, and when you read them, not only are going to realize how horrible they are, you’re going to think, “That SEO Hack really is a lazy fuck! I should kick the shit out of him! I want my five minutes back, you prick!”
Another thing, what is up with all you people and the”poop porn”? I’m number two right now (heheheh, that joke never gets old! Oh wait, it just did), and man, I don’t know if it’s the sunshine or what but I’m getting hit with a lot of traffic for it from some sickos! Or it could be one pervo that keeps getting fooled. At any rate, it’s crazy and distracting. Here I’m trying to be all legit and shit and I get most my traffic from some really disappointed fucker who can’t read looking to travel the ol’ Hershey highway. Oh well, I guess bad traffic is better than no traffic at all, eh?
2. Not only is Syzlak better than me, I’m him! Numbers don’t lie, folks. And I’m guessing he’s still petting his Agent Scully doll too. Seriously though, could you blame him?
3. Vern Troyer has a sex tape. Insert your own “Mini-Me” penis related joke here.
4. I’m even more legit than I was last week! That’s right, punks!!! Syzlak and I got top billing in a post by Ms. Kelley. Not only do we look like real for real SEOs, we kinda’ come off looking smart! Or at least Syzlak does.
5. Apparently, American Indians (feathers, not spots) don’t live in teepees anymore. Wow. And from what I understand, both American Indians and Indian Americans hate when people differentiate between them with the feather – spot thing. But that doesn’t tell which bathrooms she-males go potty in, nor why white people smell like wet dogs when it rains. At any rate, I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell ‘cuz I find this site friggin’ hilarious!
7. Never bring a banana to a knife fight. Okay, that one was a total cop-out. I admit it. But if you read the article, they have an even worse “banana split” pun. As such, I feel entitled to churn out my own crappy play on words. C’mon – it was that bad, was it? Besides, that is actually solid advice. You know, ‘cuz a banana won’t cut a punk. And if you’ve ever tried to fight someone with a knife with a banana . . . alright, I give up.
Have a good weekend.