I know I usually say this weeks 7 are horrible. But you know what? Considering I’m getting ready to spend three days shitfaced have a nice long weekend, and I had shit I had to get done, I think it turned out pretty damn good! Especially since I’m still reeling from Syzlak and everyone telling me what the hell FTW really meant. Seriously, we’re a bunch a wussies for that one. Anyways, a great three day weekend to all you all in the States, and to the rest of you all, I’ll have a drink in honor you having to work (ha! ha! suckers!).
2. That guy who created N’Sync and the Backstreet boys is going to the hoosegow, but not for torturing us ears with that shit parade he created. Seriously, he should get another 25 years on top of what he got for tax evasion. And I don’t care what you all say about Justin Timberlake, the fucker did NOT bring sexy back!
3. Amy Winehouse’s house is haunted. Um, yeah, it’s “haunted”. And bossman, I’m not drunk, I’m “possessed”. By the “spirits”. And I like to talk in “quotes”. When I’m “possessed” by “spirits”.
4. A donkey goes on a rampage and everyone assumes he’s a drunk ass. They never said he was all baracho; they just tossed him in the tank is all! You all ever think that maybe he was just having a bad day? Life’s tough enough in southern Mexico, what with all the illegal aliens sneaking across the border and all the annoying touristas wanting to have their picture taken with him. Give the poor guy a break!
5. About the time I think my fellow Americans are becoming a bunch of weak-stomached, namby pamby wienie men, along comes Canadian Waddah Mustapha to prove me it’s wussy-ville everywhere. C’mon guy, grow a set, will ya? I mean, for chrissakes, it was just water!!! What kind of fucked up sex drive do you have?
6. Matt Cutts speaks, and the search marketing industry gets all FUDdy over it. C’mon people. The sky ain’t falling.
Was that pretty good or what? Wasn’t totally phoned in. And wasn’t totally crap either. I deserve a drink.