Archive for April 11th, 2008

7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week

April 11, 2008

This almost didn’t happen this week. I didn’t learn a whole helluva’ lot and honestly there was too much crap about SEO Standards and junk eating up my bandwidth. And then there’s the whole “job” thing. So yeah, this is kinda’ phoned in. But you know what? I, uh, hell, I got nothing.

1. Some of life’s most important lessons can be learned from drunk chicks.

2. Vanilla Ice doesn’t like bedroom furniture. And he has a wallaroo. And a stupid haircut. Seriously, Vanilla Ice, did you grab a bowl and cut that yourself?

3. As it turns out, Jason Gambert is less of a “clever marketer” (not my words, some other people’s) and more of a strong-arming, SEO Standards Nazi. While he might have failed at getting the SEO-industry at large to jump in line and follow him, he did manage to get a lot of people agree with Doug Heil! And I still contend that he should have hired a lawyer instead of relying on some documents he downloaded from a someplace on the interweb.

4. When something is known, it is impossible to un-know. No amount of eye-bleach will wash the words of the wretched image from your brain. And even if the unknown was unseen, it is still a known that will haunt you when your mind is idle and your imagination is left to wander with a loose rein. All you can hope for is early senility to settle in.

5. Randolph College is about to see a boom in enrollment. And to think I could have gotten so much more out of my educational dollars.

6. Some people just don’t know when to disappear. First of all, the guy gets caught jacking off and peeing in a cup in an upscale neighborhood. Even homeless people know that’s what libraries are for. And you can bet nobody is going to be lining up to shake this guy’s hand while he’s out campaigning. It’s time to throw in the fucking towel already!

7. Syzlak likes playing cricket on the PlayStation almost as much as he like internet gamer tail (his words, not mine!). Me, I don’t like real or fake cricket. And not just because the rules make no sense.

Alright, so there you have it. Phoned in, but there none the less. I’m pretty sure this will cause the remaining three RSS subscribers to dump their feeds. Oh well, it’s a good thing I’m so goddammed good looking.