Okay, here’s a warning. This week’s 7 Things I Learned on the Interweb This Week is really, really crappy. There’s some good links to follow, but really, you’re in for some real disappointment. Furthermore, one of them is something I learned last week!!!
So, I apologize if you were looking for something “important or interesting”, you are going to be severely disappointed. Like, you’re going to want to go outside and start randomly yelling at children and kicking dogs. It isn’t going to be pretty.
1. Being a serial killer isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s nice to see I’m not the only one who thinks that Oxy Clean guy is a fucking liar. And oranges – I know right! I mean, I think they taste more yellow than orange to me! That SOOO pisses me off!!! And that Charlie Manson, such a lazy prick. Oh shit, this doesn’t mean . . . . am I, oh, no, of course not . . . . .
2. Doug Heil is my favorite SEO tool.
3. Apparently the Air Force Reserve is going to help America score on pretty drunk chicks at the bar. Seriously, could they have come up with a worse campaign idea?
4. That goddammed Syzlak has been a bad influence on the Muppets.
5. 6 year old + 6 year old + cage = the death of little league baseball. Admit it, the thought of two little kids getting into a brawl warms your heart too.
6. Stephen Colbert sucks at the Twitter. Seriously, ten fucking months and no update? What the hell?
7. Apparently, Matt Cutts isn’t the only that mistakes babies with burritos. Okay, I know this one is a stretch. In order to get this comment, you would have had to read and remembered last week’s 7. And this is proof this week’s 7 really, really sucked. But still, that’s pretty damn funny. I mean, that newspaper clipping. And just so no one gets the wrong idea about me, I DO NOT condone eating babies. I may not be “important or interesting“, but I do not eat babies no think a diet of babies is a good idea. I don’t even like veal. Now, eggs, those are in a different category. I mean, unless it’s a fertilized egg, then it’s likely not a baby. But that’s way off topic. To get back on point, these people thought they found a baby in a garbage can and thought it was a burrito! That’s fucking hilarious!!!!! Unless, of course, you’ve been a baby mistaken for burrito and no one fished you out of the trash. Then that’s just sad and somebody needs to go to jail. So, let me straighten this out. Thinking a burrito is a baby, funny. Eating a baby, not funny, unless it’s a hilariously photoshopped image of a leading Google engineer eating one that looks like a burrito, which is funny. Throwing a burrito in the trash, not funny, but better than throwing it on the ground, which is just littering. Throwing a child in the trash, also not funny and should land you in jail for a very long time.