Archive for March 25th, 2008

British Company Stalks Children, Does SEO

March 25, 2008

I wish I could take credit for finding this, but all credit goes to Mr. Davies at seoTunes.  In his post, he found some jackasses that decided to name their company Web Predators.

Yes.  For realsies.  Follow the link on his site.

Now, I realize (that’s realise for our British friends!) that sometime words over there mean different things over here.  For example, saying some chick is full of spunk might get a few giggles from our British counterparts where over here in the US we’d just think the girl was spirited.  Anyways, since this was pointed out by our man in Manchester, I don’t think this is a difference between American English and, er, English English.

I imagine their name-deciding meeting went something like this:

workerman: Allowe guvnuh!

bossman: Allowe, Wembley.  ‘Ou finished stuffin’ those title tags, eh?

workerman: Aye, Mr. Winston Churchhill, aye am.  An’ aye ‘ad me a wee bit uv an ideer.  We need to give this company a name, no?  Ow bout sumtin’ a wee dangerous soundin’.  Sumtin’ that’s a bit edgy . . . .

bossman: A’aight.  Go on then.

workerman: A’aight then, Mr. Winston Churchill.  Aye uz tinkin’ sumtin’ along the lines of Web Predator.  Sounds a bit vicious, eh?

bossman:  Aye, it does, Mr. Wembley.  Aye, it does.  But don’t ‘ou worry it might sound like we’re pedophiles?  Like we bugger wee ones?

workerman:  Aye, I suppose it does, Mr. Winston Churchill.  A’aight, then.  We’ll put a shark in the logo.  No one will mistake a shark for un of ’em pederphiles.

bossman:  Done and done then.  Good work, Mr. Wembley.  Now let’s ‘ave us a spot of tea!

Anyways, that’s how I imagined it went.  But the point has less to do with my poorly done British accent and general lack of knowledge of all things English and more to do with that if you’re going to run a business, either online or off, think about your fucking name!!!   I realize there are some in the search industry that view SEO not as marketing but as the implementation of tactics to associate keywords with pages and getting those pages indexed.  Who fucking cares?!?!?!?!?!  You pick a shitty name, they’re gonna’ think you go online trolling for children to rape!  It doesn’t matter if you don’t see yourself as a marketer – and by picking a horrible name like “Web Predator” it proves you aren’t one.

Again, thank you, Mr. Davies, for the laugh.  And thank you to the Web Predator team (webpredator.co.uk) for doing whatever it is you’re doing.