Calacanis Wants To Get Invited to Parties Again

– or: My Take on the Calacanis Keynote & Making Nice –
So, bomb-thrower Jason Calacanis was invited to speak at SESNY this year, much to many peoples’ dismay. Afterall, once upon a time, he called SEO bullshit. Many wondered, “Was this just a ploy for Search Engine Strategies to drum interest after getting their asses handed to them by the SMX series in their show?” Why in the hell else would they ask this guy back? After all, if they wanted an asshole to speak, they could have just asked me! Though, I don’t have a search engine to plug. Nor anything interesting to say. Plus, I’m not allowed to travel by air. But I digress.
Anyways, he gives this keynote talk yesterday afternoon, which is brilliantly play-by-played by Lisa Barone. However, her write up of Calacanis’ keynote left me a little cold. And it has nothing to do with her reporting. It has everything to do with Calacanis being nice. Instead of lambasting the whole industry, he talks a little tiny bit of smack about black hats! And then goes on to talk about how wonderful MyMaholo is and some other stuff. What the hell?
I miss the old Calacanis. The one that alienated the industry. The one that made it so we didn’t want to invite him to parties. The Calacanis that said crazy shit that made all of us go fucking nuts. Yeah, that Calacanis. Now what the hell I’m going to bitch about?
Hopefully all this kumbaya shit will pass and the old order will be restored. This whole nice-guy bit is a little creepy. Plus, doesn’t he realize nice guys finish last? You don’t see Sergey and Larry out there giving us bear hugs. You don’t see Yang patting us on the back telling us we’re okay. Hell no! They’re ruthless bastards that would throw us on the fire to keep their algorithms warm! They know they got to kick us in the balls once in a while to keep ahead of the curve! Distraction, man, distraction!
Anyways, the point of this rant is that I don’t like the newer, kinder, gentler Calacanis. And if SES needs someone “edgy” to keynote, I’m available. But give me a head’s up cuz the old grey dog is friggin’ slow.

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