Tumblr Is Butt Rock, NOT Punk Rock!

I’m sorry, El Tigre, while I do like your blog thingy, I have to get this out there.  And I apologize for using you as the launching post for this tirade.  But as every belligerent asshole says, it’s not you, it’s them. You’re cool; you’re one of us.

El Tigre tried to esplain the Tumblr to me.  I still didn’t get it.  Maybe it was lack of alcohol coffee, maybe it was the sleep deprivation, but regardless, I didn’t get the Tumblr.  It was just another blogging format that apparently people were amped up about.  After I urged El Tigre to leave the cult, I halfway expected suicide bombers to be lining my driveway.

However, my concern has turned to annoyance.  Apparently, some jackass in Britishland the UK has wrote a stupid-assed article proclaiming “Tumblelogs are the punk rock of blogging.”  WHAT?!?!?!?!!?!  Seriously?  From where I’m sitting it’s less Joey Ramone and Johnny Rotten and more Nikki Sixx and Brett Michaels.   And if it is “punk rock”, it’s not the fucking punk rock of old but the new emo-shit that makes me want to kick the fuck out of every dipshit walking out of the Hot Topic wearing a fucking Fallout Boy t-shirt.

From what I can tell, formats and CMS’s like Tumblr are more or less like Twitter but with a more robust character allowance and pictures.  Don’t get me wrong – I like seeing the pictures.  And some of these people (such as El Tigre) are posting some interesting shit.  But I fail to see how it’s any different than any regular old blog. Seriously.

And the fucking article contradicts itself.  If “There’s no need for order, categories or taxonomies” then what the fuck is “Photos appear with a soft grey background, and quotes with an italic typeface. The varied content is matched by the visual design” about?  That looks like friggin’ order and classification to me.

As El Tigre also pointed out, this shit has gone mainstream.  Tumblr, and the rest of the tumblelogging platforms, aren’t punk rock.  It’s just more hipster douchebaggery pushing its value on us.  We recognize the value; telling us it’s valuable just makes it look cheap and overdone.  And in the end, it’s just a fucking blog!!!!!  I could do the same shit with the WordPress!  It’s like saying you’re punk rock only if you buy your fucking studded belt at Target (which I hear has some really reasonable prices for studded belts and Ramones t-shirts).

Anyways, the point of this post is the article is stupid and I don’t trust groups of people.

Schadenfreude

So, perhaps the Twitter is redeeming itself in my eyes. From Jason Calicanis’ Twitter feed, I read:

“Is there an SES event tonight?!? dotcom event?”

For some reason, that made me feel good. Real good. In a warm, fuzzy, cosmic justice kind of way.

One-Eyed-Monster!!!

Okay, maybe I’m the only adolescent in the room here, but when you read “one-eyed creature” and “bedroom”, are you thinking TV?

Me neither.

A Lesson From That Justin Guy

For all you image-conscious hand-wringers out there, this one’s for you.  It’s an easier than hell way to improve the image of SEO/SEM people everywhere.

So, a while back I wrote a post about some guy that spammed the Sphinn with his loving review of the iPhone.  I wasn’t very kind.  I was kind of a dick.  Well, I like to think more like an asshole, but the word “dick” would be applicable here.

Anyways, this guy came back and replied.  I was figuring he’d come in, barrels blazing and tossing out the hate-bombs like the StumbleUpon crew did when I merely signed up.  But no such luck.  Unlike others in our industry who get all bent out of shape when people call them on their shit, he came back, respectably defended himself and apologized.  So, instead of being an asshole, he made me look like an asshole.  Er, a bigger asshole.

What can we learn from this guy?

1.  If someone calls you on your shit, you have two options.  Own it or don’t.  If you own it, do it like a fucking  grown-assed man and own it.  Don’t shy away from it and act like a fucking whiney-assed brat who needs to have his (or her) ass spanked.

2.  Apologize.  Sure, he didn’t apologize in the Sphinn, but he apologized in this friggin’ black hole.  He had his reasons, but he apologized.  Again, something that a grown-assed man does.  And as far as I know, he didn’t file with the local police or Feds.

3.  Don’t be an asshole!!!  Justin was respectful, honest and even a little humorous.  But he wasn’t a dick.  He didn’t call me a hypocrite or an ass or even a bully.  He stuck up for himself (and those damn sunglasses), said his piece and moved on.  By doing this, I went out and looked at some of his other posts.  In the end, I ended up looking like an asshole.

There you have it.  Three simple steps to make yourself as an online marketer to look better.  And in doing so, you might even bring up the prestige of pricks like me.  Get yourself in the middle of a shit storm and this might help, you know, if you care what others think.  If not, well, wrap your hands and get ready to brawl.

So, go read the Life of Justin and click on some of those ads so this cat gets paid.   Maybe even buy one of those bathroom stall hammocks.  At any rate, for a iPhone loving, Facebook being on entrepreneurial type, he ain’t all bad.  Plus, he’s managed to piss off the Facebook.  He can’t be all bad!