7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week

Okay, you know what? Syzlak is a hair-hoarding jackass. I listen, do no 7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week, announce it, and my Friday traffic takes a big dump. And you know what??!?!?!? I don’t give a shit if it sucks. Bagel likes it. Melanie digs it. El Tigre – well, he’s on the fence. But Rebecca Kelley digs it too. So, be warned, this is going to totally suck ass. You’re going to want to gouge your fucking eyes out with a spoon and then go to some gypsy and have her put a curse on me for you wasting your time. But I don’t care. Did you come here for interweb advice? Well, fuck you. If you’re dumb enough to think you’ll find that here, then you’re fucked. Life will shit on you because you don’t pay fucking attention. Does that mean there won’t be anything about search or SEO or the SEM? Hell no. I reserve the right to say whatever the hell I want. And I also reserve the right to be drunk at eight in the morning and un-showered. So let’s jump into this puddle of shit without our galoshes.

1. More women than men like the 7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week. God bless you, women. And perhaps this was Syzlak’s angle – to work the maximum chickage into his blog so he can pull from a field of SEO groupies for Donerail. For shame, Syzlak, for shame. Let them like you for the music, man! Not the trickery.

2. Mr. Lucas has found another vehicle for totally shitting on his classics Star Wars and the Empire Strikes Back. Way to go. I was just thinking I haven’t seen a shitty flick with horrible dialogue in a while. Mmmm, turd sandwich.

3. Twitter owns the Sphinn. And the search industry.

4. Jim Carey pimping a new movie at American Idol? From what I hear, it’s about as classy as pimping one of your client’s sites at search conference. I’m guessing Mr. Carey drew the short straw and Steve Carrell didn’t.

5. For all of you searching for cool points, MySpace is out – The Space is in. Glad to see Rob and Big pulling a page from the SEO Hack book.

6. Somebody finally agrees with me! It’s about damn time. Maybe now we can all quit being a bunch of hand-wringing a-holes (heheheheh, a-hole is such a funny word!).

7. People in Ness City, Kansas are slow. Yeah, when you gotta’ go, you gotta’ go. But doing the number two for two years?!?!?! And the boyfriend, did he decide to take the time to make a phone before calling the police? Talk about two people who weren’t getting laid.  Also interesting – the Sheriff quoted in the article is a Mr. Whipple.  MR. WHIPPLE!!!!!

8 Responses to “7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week”

  1. Syzlak Says:


    see, you followed one of my comments (not enough ranting/commentary)

  2. The Bagel of Everything Says:

    WB, 7 Things! I missed you!

    Now, let’s all talk about me some more.

  3. Mark Pilatowski Says:

    Haha. Thanks for the mention. It cracks me up when everyone is offended and upset about someone throwing hate their way.

  4. michael streko Says:

    holy shit – no chris angel!

  5. Melanie Phung Says:

    Well, to say I “dig it” is a little bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think? I’d say it’s more like I don’t mind it so much.

  6. Rebecca Kelley Says:

    I’d shave my head and send you a whole bag of hair, but my sister accused my head of having an abnormally high amount of little moles/freckles, and I’m worried that Bald Rebecca’s head would look like a chocolate chip cookie.

  7. seohack Says:

    @ syzlak – so does that mean you’re happy?

    @ bagel – of course!!!!

    @ Mark – well, if you get any hate don’t be afraid to send it may way. and be warned, the stink of this blog may not leave your shoes for several days.

    @ Melanie – you really like to take my little dreams and crush them under your heel, huh? 😉

    @ Rebecca – so that means no Rebecca hair pillow for to dream my sweet dreams of gin-fueled mayhem on?

  8. Melanie Phung Says:

    That’s what I do, or haven’t you been reading the sfinn?

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