Good News from Syzlak!!!

So, Comrade Syzlak is lucky enough to live in Portland, where there was some sort of SEM/SEO conference going on, which he attended and got to rub elbows with all sorts of fancy people. Lucky bastard. Oh well. It’s just as well. It’s not like I had a clean shirt or anything.

Anyways, he told me he got to meet no other than Rebecca Kelley. Rebecca fucking Kelley!!! And he said that she really does read this thing!!! Even if he lying just to keep me from throwing myself in front of a train, still!!! He got to talk to her!!!!!

I think the only thing that could have made hearing that better is to then hear that Vanessa Fox was there and that she heard Syz and Miss Rebecca Kelley talking about this hell hole and then getting into a fight over my fanboydom. That would have been awesome. Super awesome. And then to have Todd Friesen and Greg Boser also show up and try to break up that fight and then say they read this bullshit too. And then they get in a fight. Then that fight gets so bad that there’s people being thrown through the window and shit getting broken. And then right before it gets out of hand, Syzlak steps in and asks them “WWSEOHD?”, to which they’d say, “What the fuck are you talking about?” And then Syzlak, would have to show them his rubber bracelet and say, “The SEO Hack would say instead of fighting amongst ourselves over his awesomeness, we should unite to light a dumpster on fire and partake in the drinking of the gin.” And then they’d all go out, light a dumpster on fire, get drunk and then light some more shit in Portland on fire.

And in my opinion, there’s no bigger compliment than having a town drunkenly burnt to the ground in your honor. Yes, a boy can dream. A boy can dream.

Rebecca Kelley!!!!!

9 Responses to “Good News from Syzlak!!!”

  1. michael streko Says:


    Did he cut off a lock of her hair to give to you to complete your voodoo shrine?

  2. Anonymous Says:

    I’m highly tempted to say this entry was “creepy”, but last time I commented on someone’s blog and used the word “creepy” I apparently started a war of epic proportions, broke apart the romance of a century, got called an “ignorant c*nt”, was outed as someone who’s been linking to other blogs for years and even for having dinner with a fellow blogger at a conference … it got ugly. So I won’t say your stalkerish tendencies are creepy. Nope, not creepy at all.

    (Not funny? Too soon?)

  3. Syzlak Says:

    Aren’t anonymous comments great? So classy and appreciative…

  4. Anonymous (aka Sarah Lacy) Says:

    Tough crowd. Sigh. Okay then, please delete my previous comment SEOHack. Last thing I want is to cause more trouble. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  5. Rebecca Kelley Says:

    Did Syzlak pass along that lock of hair I told him to give you?

  6. Syzlak Says:


    @Anonymous – all right, chill it in anonymous, we all know you’re Ted Danson ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. seohack Says:

    @ streko and Ms. Kelley – no, he did not. I’m still waiting by my friggin’ mailbox. What the hell, Syzlak??!?!?!?!?! And steko, it’s not a voodoo shrine. Really, it’s not.

    @ syzlak – you pissed about something? we need to hug this out?

    @ anon – you broke up the relationship of the century? do tell! and ignore that fucking hair thief named syzlak. details? ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. seohack Says:

    @ Rebecca – you still got a lock for the hack?

  9. Anon Says:

    I’m afraid to give details. At least one party in that relationship is … uh, how to put this?… possibly off their meds. And I worry I’m going to find said person in my kitchen making bunny soup one day.

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