Why 12-Year-Olds Shouldn’t Use the Interweb

While I was trying to find something to give a shit about on hiatus, I didn’t pay any attention to this craphole den of awesomeness very closely. Which means some wet-pantsed little twelve year old got on mommy’s laptop while she was snorting crushed valium answering the phone and decided to post a few enlightening comments. Oh, kids these days! Those little rapscallions!

However, it does bring up something we should take into account with children (or shitty little bot-spammers) being online. While we like to think of these mischievous little monkeys (or Illinois-based bot spammers) spending their days rolling through the ‘burbs on their cute little skateboards, taking turns looking at each others’ “peepees” and generally readying themselves to be a collective pain on societies ass, they really ought to be careful with what they say to whom. For example, comments such as those could really tick someone off. You never know who owns what guns and has what capabilities to track down which little shit stains and cut off their little adorable fingers and shove them down their sweet little pie holes while mommy sits on the couch counting ceiling tiles in a semi-comatose state thanks to the oxycontin the good doctor gave her to help with her “migraines”. And these little darlings also never know what kind of associates people like me, er, rather, anyone has that get off on seeing pure fear in some pissant’s eyes. And never forget there are some people who have nothing but contempt and disgust for some people and see it as their duty eradicate snot-nosed suburban trash (or wanna-be snot-nosed suburban trash, which is much worse and we all know these bot-spammers aspire to be, like a certain “SEO” is) on sight and without prejudice. Ah yes, it can be really dangerous to be a little asshole on the interweb these days.

So, mommy, but down the “diet aids” long enough to make sure Junior isn’t wearing baggy pants and making an ass out of himself online. It’s just a dangerous world we’re living in and I’m just looking out for the best interests of your little shithead!

And if you’re a pissy little bot spammer, you need untuck your weewee from between your legs and man up. An apology goes a long ways to getting negative shit about you taken down, fuckhead.

And if you’re just pissed because you got that post instead of the “poop porn” you so desired, you need to learn to fucking read you ignorant ass pervert. Seriously.

5 Responses to “Why 12-Year-Olds Shouldn’t Use the Interweb”

  1. ANONYMOUS DEAD RAPPER Says:

    YO! GO FUCK YERSLF BITCH. I SRCH POOP PORN DAILY FOR SANITY, NOT CAUSE I LIKE IT…U KNOW, LIKE HOW SHIT CAN NEVER BE UNSEEN.

    I HAVE TO DO THIS BCAUSE I SAW IT ONCE!!!!!! I WISH I COULD UNDO IT, I CANT…NOW I LIVE IN ALLCAPS WITH POOP PORN IN MY HEADZ

  2. Syzlak Says:

    Ahhh, I love the Web.

  3. michael streko Says:

    word.

    yo?

  4. Content Girl Says:

    Poop porn related searches really do bring out the best in pre-prepubescents, doncha think? Someone commented on my entry — the one where I tried giving you some poop porn love — that I was an ignorant c*nt. Sigh, you try so hard to do good in this world…

  5. seohack Says:

    @ ADR – wurd?

    @ Syz – me too.

    @ streko – is “word” short for “word to your mother”?

    @ Content Girl – seriously? they leave an email address or a website? No one but no one talks to the Content Girl that way! Thanks for trying though . . . the world really is better for it.

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