All I can say is fuck you 2008.
I had a feeling I couldn’t win this thing. Afterall, what am I but a simple SEO with a mighty thirst and the need to keep my gin, urine and toe nail clippings in a nice, cool place? But with Comrade JDog’s prodding, I went forth, hoping my need and desire would net me the awesomest of awesome – a Google fridge.
I poured my heart out into a post sharing the seven things one might find in my Google fridge, you know, if I won one. I was optimistic. Hell, I even started dreaming of the damn thing. I dreamed I took it for a drive and we shot mail boxes together and then went and got some ice cream at the Dairy Queen (gotsta have my Blizzard!) and then some milk at the Super Wal-Mart (a machine of this caliber doesn’t just go the regular Wal-Mart). This refrigerator, with its cooling and heating, was going to take me places that I had never seen before. Places where I could cool and heat things. Maybe even a social gathering.
But as you can guess, that sweet dream has been shat upon.
Instead, some other guy who
plagiarized re-purposed some poor, body-less boy’s letter won it. He won! Stealing was rewarded! Well, theft and being from the same geographic location and having crappy database problems. I could get further into it, but all you really need to know is that SEO Hack was screwed again!
Well, Mr. Perry, I hope you’re happy. Not only have you screwed my sweet dreams of a Google fridge like a hardened felon on fresh meat in the yard, you’ve sentenced Granpa to potential death by botulism. Hope you can sleep at night.