2. Seatbelting a twelve pack will keep it safe in a wreck. Everyone has their priorities.
3. If there’s one thing we should have learned from Weekend at Bernie’s, it’s that the dead are hard to work with. They flop around, fall out of chairs, draw unwanted attention to you and screw up even the tightest of well thought out plans.
4. Toronto has the sluttiest hockey fans. What the hell is that first gal pointing at? Seriously, we know what that is, lady.
5. Gene Marks wins the coveted Triple Crown for being, a douchebag, an idiot and a dumbass. That there is some good advice, you fucking moron. Why you’re at it, why don’t you tell these small business owners they don’t need a phone number, address or contact email? What an ass. BTW, Gene, you might’ve gotten more from the Rogain shampoo if your head wasn’t so far up your ass.