7 Things I Learned On the Interweb This Week

1. Drinking more alcohol leads to higher blood alcohol levels. No shit?

2. Seatbelting a twelve pack will keep it safe in a wreck. Everyone has their priorities.

3. If there’s one thing we should have learned from Weekend at Bernie’s, it’s that the dead are hard to work with. They flop around, fall out of chairs, draw unwanted attention to you and screw up even the tightest of well thought out plans.

4. Toronto has the sluttiest hockey fans. What the hell is that first gal pointing at? Seriously, we know what that is, lady.

5. Gene Marks wins the coveted Triple Crown for being, a douchebag, an idiot and a dumbass. That there is some good advice, you fucking moron. Why you’re at it, why don’t you tell these small business owners they don’t need a phone number, address or contact email? What an ass. BTW, Gene, you might’ve gotten more from the Rogain shampoo if your head wasn’t so far up your ass.

6. Jane Copland is coming over to the dark side. Well, as much as a nice person can. Or perhaps she’s prepping for my arrival at their platinum walled offices.

7. Paris Hilton is pregnant.

8 Responses to “7 Things I Learned On the Interweb This Week”

  1. Jaan Kanellis Says:

    Yeah I still cant get over how retarded that Marks article was.

  2. michael streko Says:

    That Jan Copland review is great. Specially the UofInfo.com review. I new the kids who were creating it – they new everything and would rather spend their nights going to nightclubs taking pictures of drunken underage fake i.d. toting girls wearing their terribly made white tank top “uofinfo.com” shirts, then spend time developing their product.

    i dont know if its jealousy or hatred i have at them.

  3. The Bagel of Everything Says:

    Paris is pregnant?
    But she isn’t even married!!!
    kids today…

  4. Jane Says:

    I’ve gone past the dark side and have descended into a deep depression, the defining characteristic of which is the profound hatred of everything. Especially pointless “web 2.0” applications that don’t work. Glad you liked it!

  5. seohack Says:

    @ Jaan – heheheh, I know what you mean. he should have named it “How To Totally Fuck Over Your Small Biz Site”.

    @ streko – my vote is hatred. you can never go wrong with hate. Let’s say you’re jealous of them and it turns out they’re total douchebags that mac on 14 year olds. You want to be jealous of that? Hell no! but hate, well, you could just throw another log on the fire!

    @ bagel – well, I don’t know that she’s knocked up, but if take the fact that she was standing next to Kevin “Uber Breeder” Federline and multiply it by the chances that she wasn’t wearing panties, I think we all know what we’re gonna’ be seeing in the tabloids a few months from now. =)

    @ Jane – well, you’re not as far into the darkness as I thought. When you start vomiting blood and sticking pens in your eyes when you read the phrase “web 2.0”, then you’ve made it. if you’re must irritated by stupid apps, you have a little ways to go.

  6. JDog Says:

    Look at that fancy SEMMY logo… Did Syzlak help you put that up? (A subscribe button may help as well)

    Congrats BTW, It’s looking like the Chargers next game. Some tuff competition, Good Luck!

  7. JDog Says:

    Sry, My beer goggles disabled my viewing for a moment…you have a subscribe button finally….movin on up

  8. seohack Says:

    JDog, i was just gonna’ give you shit for missing that huge-ass rss subscription button. lol =D but at least you’re drunk!

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