7 Things I Learned On the Interweb This Week

1. It takes a whole lot of crazy to be the craziest fucker on the interwebs.

2. The used socks of teenage boys hold the key to the future of nano-technology.

3. Dumb people + money = funness.

4. I’m starting the new year off strong with a fat number two ranking for “poop porn” in the Google. Not ideal, but what the hell? Perverts love them some SEO!

5. Apparently, Timothy Leary invented blogging. About time one of those dirtheads did something good for the rest of us! Well, assuming you like reading crap like this, seeing the SERPs littered with MFA bullshit and the ramblings some 13 year old girls who insist on using tiny typefaces and glittery looking bullshit on their backgrounds. I mean, what the fuck? Oh well. Anyways, before this devolves into a rant that sounds like some old man yelling at kids to quit shitting on his friggin’ lawn, all I have to add is that it’s too bad he hadn’t teamed up with the Doogster.

6. Forget about 2 Girls 1 Cup – 2 Women 1 Elevator is hot.  Well, sorta’.

7. Dane Cook proved a theory I had: he’s an attention whoring douchebag. Regardless, Chappelle could still kick the fuck out of Douche Cook. What a schmuck.

3 Responses to “7 Things I Learned On the Interweb This Week”

  1. The Bagel of Everything Says:

    I always knew there was a goldmine in them thar’ spooge-rags

  2. Soylent Ape Says:

    I’m not sure if Leary invented blogging, but he was definitely one of the first to blog back in the early-mid ’90s.

    Dane Cook’s one-hour set is painful. How could anyone withstand 7 hours of that punishment? Did he really have to do that, anyway? I hope Louis CK does a 7 1/2 hour set just to spite his ass!

  3. seohack Says:

    @ bagel – that was what I always hoped!

    @ soylent ape – amen on Douche Cook. He should have done more than simply bought them food. The humane thing to do would have been to buy them earplugs and counseling.

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