Final Countdown Throwdown

Ahhh, the beauty of the interweb. Who knew that it can be as good for entertainment as it is for looking at porn or finding out that the crazy bitch who dumped you in high school is busing tables at the Denny’s (sure, it ain’t no Waffle House, but I do love me a Dagwood Breakfast Slam) and knocked up with the 42nd child from the douchebag she dumped you for (BTW – they ain’t married and he’s on the welfare and has hemroids! Now who’s cool, you heartless harpie hell-bitch?!?!!?!)?

Thanks to the YouTube, I have an endless supply (by endless I mean seven) of covers of “Final Countdown”. Haven’t heard of it? Don’t be a lying asshole. Who doesn’t know Europe’s “Final Countdown”? Ahh, your lips say you don’t but your lying, full-of-shit eyes sing “We’re leaving together, but still it’s farewell”. You hear the awesomest piece of synth EVER humming in your head right now, don’t you? Don’t be an asshole. You know you want to start screeching it at the tops of your lungs right now. It’s okay. We ALL love that song. Those who say they don’t are lying motherfuckers who would just as soon stab out your eyes and then screw you dog than to admit they’re a mullet-headed butt-rocker from way back.

Really, it should be the official anthem of the search industry.

So, for the above reasons, I’ve taken it upon myself to pit two covers against one another. Thanks to Bagel, I now know how to actually embed a YouTube clip into this thing! For your viewing pleasure I present Norther versus Some Random Guys In Black T-Shirts.

First up, Norther:

Okay, while I dig the screechy vocals, it’s pretty much like the original. The slide show is nice, but these dudes remind me of Metalocalypse. Just trade that one emo looking guy in for William Murderface and there you have it. And at 1:23, is that blonde dude trying to channel Zakk Wylde?  Cuz, if so, he ain’t.

Next, we have some random guys in black t-shirts that appear to be at some sort of swap meet or something:

Okay, nothing against Norther, but these guys kicked major fucking ass. First off, look at the lead singer. He’s like a caged tiger, pacing and yearning for freedom and kicking ass. The stage is his cage and the fat guy who walks in front of the camera better watch his back. Then you have the awesome organ playing. Just friggin’ sweet. The guitar and bass together? Like Siamese twins, but without being hooked together and not looking alike. And the drummer – straight up animal. Watch him beat those skins. In my book, this is the official band of the search industry.

So, I think the clear winner is the random guys in black shirts playing at the county fair behind the goat barn. But since I’m a nice guy, I’ll take all you all’s votes too.

8 Responses to “Final Countdown Throwdown”

  1. The Bagel of Everything Says:

    “for entertainment as it is for looking at porn or finding out that the crazy bitch who dumped you in high school ” <— those things are different?

    All 42 kids by the same man? You shoulda stuck with her — she sounds like a quality woman to me!

    When I was a little me, I wanted to stop the world and melt with Joey Tempest. Nonthreatening blondes are hot.

  2. artiefan Says:

    That has got to be the best cover of a song ever!!!!

  3. Soylent Ape Says:

    If I were to cast a vote for “The Best Final Countdown Cover”, it would go to Children of Bodom, but between the 2 in your post, I have to take the last one. Those Latvian rockers throw down with unbridled passion and impeccable musicianship. The frontman is the best since Bruce Dickenson and that unmistakable synth riff sounds awesome played through a Melodica!

  4. Rebecca Kelley Says:

    The Final Countdown (doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo) makes me want to see some of Gob’s illusions.

  5. Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Gerry Phillips « The Worst SEO Blog Ever! Says:

    […] Yes, you can bet your ass I’ll be bringing you another Gerry Phillips masterpiece every week until he gets the wide recognition he deserves.  And be sure to look for Mr. Phillips in a future “Final Countdown Throwdown“! […]

  6. I like music that smells bad « Ration Reality Says:

    […] Hey kids! Go check out SEO’s Final Countdown Throwdown! […]

  7. Final Countdown Throwdown, Part 2 « The Worst SEO Blog Ever! Says:

    […] Countdown Throwdown, Part 2 Alright, it’s been a while since the first Final Countdown Throwdown, and since I got nothing today I thought this would be the perfect opportunity for another […]

  8. 7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week « The Worst SEO Blog Ever! Says:

    […] be known that not only have I given the SEO Industry standards, I’ve also given you people a theme song. Hell, I even suggested an official band for the industry! If you all don’t like my standards […]

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