Will You All Quit Messing With Me?!?!?!!??!?!

Seriously! It’s fucking with my head!

First, a couple of weeks ago, I get a message from WordPress telling my blog was banned, I’m an asshole and that I should have heeded the TOS (this was the same day graywolf gave me the smackdown). Then, after about three or four hours I get an email that says, “Nah, you ain’t banned. There was some sort of mistake.”

Next, I get a visit from none other than THE Michael Gray! Hurrah! Then he starts to tell this joke about a Yahoo Ad exec, MSN UI Engineer and a Googler with a poodle under his arm going to a bar. But he never finishes the joke!!!!!!! I tossed and turned all night wondering how the hell it would end. Needless to say, I am cranky and pissy. And still don’t know what the punchline is. Does the poodle bite the MSN guy because they suck? Does the Yahoo! ad exec buy everybody drinks and they have group hug about how they’ve manipulated the American public to their will?!?!?!?!?!?! What’s the punchline?!?!!?!?!? PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN SLEEP TONIGHT. Please. That doesn’t show that you’re not humorless; it shows that you’re a mean, mean man. Please tell me how it ends.Β  Please.

Then Syzlak tells me about something on SEOmoz. I go there, excited. I heard I got a link from those folks earlier. Now what excitement could there be?!?!?!?!?! Something better than a link and a mention? I get there, palms sweaty from, erm, uh, anticipation. Yeah, anticipation. What could I possibly see? There wasn’t anything to see – the blog was down?!?!?!?!?!?! ARRARRGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHGHHGH!!!!! And now it’s back up!!! So now I look like a jackass!!! Well, er, at least a bigger jackass.

Is there a reason I drink? Probaby, and it has nothing to do with rocking harder than Kid Rock.

8 Responses to “Will You All Quit Messing With Me?!?!?!!??!?!”

  1. graywolf Says:

    What you never heard the expression give them just enough so they want some more …

    You know what’s incredibly irritating is you aren’t coming up in my vanity searches? It’s like crap I have stop sipping margarita’s poolside while the checks are rolling in and get off my ass and go walk over to the computer and check myself. What’s that about how am going to convince people I’m a complete SEO rockstar with that kind of manual labor? πŸ˜‰

  2. JDog Says:

    @graywolf – I hope you don’t use that expression with the ladies…cuz it doesn’t work. Give us the rest of the joke or I will start a god damn poll to find the answer πŸ˜‰

  3. great_scott! Says:

    Awww…we love ya, buddy. Sorry for all your frustration. Going to PubCon? Rebecca and I will buy you a drink to make you feel better.

  4. Rebecca Kelley Says:

    What are you talking about? I never linked to you. In fact, there is no such thing as SEO. You’re just an autistic child who dreamed all of this up in his head from some hospital called St. Elsewhere…

  5. Syzlak Says:

    making fun of autistics now? tsk tsk πŸ˜‰

  6. seohack Says:

    @ graywolf – your vanity what? And I agree, manual labor is for poor people and little people. Those poor, little bastards.

    @ JDog – I think it’s poll time, buddy.

    @ great_scott! – no Vegas for me. Those commercials about stuff happening in Vegas staying in Vegas are fraud.

    @ Rebecca – lookit that! I just imagined a gin and juice into my hand! Mmm, breakfasty.

    @ Syzlak – thanks for sticking up for me, buddy!

  7. JDog Says:

    OK, we gave graywol enough time to give us the pun. You should write a shit talking post about gray’s vanity and run a poll for your readers to find the answer to this god damn joke…

  8. Steve Says:

    lol… I was hoping he would come back with something.

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