Google Is Evil, MyBlogLog Now Sucks & I Rank #5 For “Poop Porn”

Seriously, fifth spot? If only I could sell ads on this damn thing! Who knew anyone would want to watch two turds humping?

So, after my self-imposed ban (read: pouting) over the humorless Michael Gray “burying” one of the posts I sfun (and I thought they could only do that on Digg!), I realized that I have nothing to bitch about. So I swallowed my pride and crawled back. After all, Jill is still there, no?

To my surprise, the front page of Sphinn had nothing about Rand Fishkin and the ne’er do well crew at SEOmoz. Instead, there were all sorts of posts about the evil empire that is Google. Apparently they knocked some points off the toolbar page rank of sites they may or may not believe that are selling links. Well, duh. They said they were gonna’ be assholes about this. They usually do what the say. Didn’t you all see that little asterisk at the end of their mission statement – “Don’t be evil.*”?

Now this is old news, but it doesn’t mean it is any less of a pain in the ass today. Yahoo! bought MyBlogLog and then went and fucked it all up. Did we really need to have it associated with our Yahoo! Accounts? Hell, I didn’t even have one until you people made me go and get one. What the hell? And no, I don’t want one of those stupid-ass icon thingies. Leave me alone about that shit, alright? Enough is e-fucking-nough! Why take something that kicks so much ass and then fuck it up by making it a hassle? Because that’s what it is now – a hassle. Thanks a lot, dipshits.

And I guess I ought to have something about MSN since I’m discussing Google and Yahoo!, but seriously, who the hell uses MSN? Oh, sure, they teamed up with Facebook or something. Yawn. Whatever. Call back when you’re actually relevant. Stupid MSN.

7 Things I Learned on the Interweb This Week

1. We all knew he was a sub-par artist. I wonder if Hitler also wrote crappy poetry and cut himself?

2. What does Kid Rock like as much as kicking ass? Waffles! And damn good waffles at that. Looks like me and Kid got more in common than I thought – though I’m usually the one getting my ass beat, not the other way around.

3. Some people need to get a life and/or job. Or at the very least, get a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend if he swings that way – I don’t really care. Go to Syzlak’s pad and play along!

4. Apparently, a fictional character from a series of children’s books is gay. First, why does this matter? Second, who gives a shit? Really? Someone does? I’ll be damned.

5. People with tazers tend to be assholes.

6. The most important lesson about the internet can be learned from Home Movies. God bless you, TV. Is there anything I can’t learn from you?

7. A mustache not a manly man make. Really. More than anything a bad mustache can call into question your manhood and compensating for it. Just shave that fucking thing off. SHAVE IT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHAVE THAT FUCKING NASTY LITTLE THING OFF YOUR LIP!!! WE REALIZE YOU’RE MORE MASCULINE THAN THE MANNISH CAMERON DIAZ!!!!!! And that woman you’re “dating”?  Her head is too big for her body.  Makes her look like a human matchstick.