7 Things I Learned on the Interweb This Week

1. Hipsters are making their kids look like hipster douchebags begetting little hipsters! Normally, I would have some sort of call to action to beat the hell out of these people. After all, it’s bad enough cheap beer is an accessory for these douchebags and we’ve all been tortured by listening to them try to out “have you heard of . . . . ” each other at some dive bar, but to bring their kids into it??!?!?!??!?!?! However, the revenge will be sweeter yet. What little Sid and baby Nancy want is to rebel against ma and pa. Their revenge? Disney. American Idol. Nike. Gun ownership. Voting Republican. Take that, mom and dad!

2. According to the WordPress stats thingy, I was found twice on October 7th for the phrase “the craziest porno ever” and once for “pooping porn”. Yay for me! And all you all are sickos.

3. Ration Reality found the gift that keeps on givin’. I’d hate to be the poor bastard that puts these gift baskets together.

4. Either this kid’s grandma needs to remember to feed the little bugger or there’s something about Applebee’s that I am totally unaware of.

5. Ralph Whittington has the most understanding mother EVER.

6. The Scottish are drinking less.

7. Apparenlty, Michael Gray, aka graywolf, doesn’t have the sense of humor I thought he had. Not only did he pull my thread on Sphinn, he didn’t even message me even though he looked at my goddamm profile! Sheesh. I’d’ve thought the guy who compared Matt Cutts to a clown in San Jose and regularly puts up linkbait titles would’ve understood the satire in the midst of the devolution of Sphinn into an anti-SEOmoz mouthpiece. For the record, as far as I know, Rand Fishkin does not wear a kitten-skin jacket nor does he eat babies. For the slow people in the audience, that was a JOKE. Please don’t petition WordPress to shut down this blog. I repeat, very slowly, IT WAS A JOKE. Perhaps a very poorly conceived one, but a crappy one none the less. It’s not like I’m Dave fucking Chappell. Now that guy is fucking hilarious! Did you see his bit about the baby selling weed in the hood? That was one of the funniest damn things I’ve ever seen!

6 Responses to “7 Things I Learned on the Interweb This Week”

  1. Syzlak Says:

    told you that title would get you in trouble 😉

  2. The Bagel of Everything Says:

    I was worried!

    “It’s something he loves. You see men his age going to bars or on dope. But he [was] home day and night [indexing and cross-referencing]. That [gave] me peace of mind.”

    You’re right. Ralph Whittington DOES has the most understanding mother EVER.
    Porn: You’re doing it wrong.

  3. Content Girl Says:

    Graywolf seems like an angry, angry man. Ever notice that he’s always YELLING about something or other?

  4. SEOHack Says:

    @ jP – maybe so, maybe not. Glad to see you got your “I told you so!” in there. lol

    @ bagel – I think that has to be the best quote of 2007.

    @ Content Girl – you know, if you wanted, you could follow that link and sfin it! >=) muahahahahahahha!

  5. great scott! Says:

    I thought the title of your Sphinn post was friggin’ hilarious! So sad it was taken down.

  6. CVOS man Says:

    Encouraging the 6 year old to drive… you should be ashamed of yourself. Applebees food is worse than school lunch.

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