“Hey Asshole. Where You Been?”

Heheheh. Well, my two readers, I haven’t been detained in a Minneapolis airport for deucing with a wide stance or peeking at some other dude taking a dump.

I haven’t been shot dead and have had my head cut off and put on a stick on the perimeter of a Mexican mafia marijuana field.

I haven’t been building fence for the government.

I haven’t been in Russia trying to set up a prostitution and narcotics ring.

I haven’t been in Seattle stalking Vanessa Fox, hoping to show her my screenplay about a plucky SEO who, through the use of a magic El Camino, is able to go between worlds and with the help of his team consisting of a cool elf, a cranky dwarf, a smart ass dragon and misunderstood troll not only save both worlds from an evil dark wizard and his armies of the undead, but also keep the wizard’s attempt to rule the interwebs through emails and number one rankings for a website about impotency drugs and penis enlargement. Oh yeah, and there’s a fight between a werewolf and vampire. I just haven’t work that in to it yet.

Nor have I embarked on my dream career path, rodeo clown. Wait, that was my father’s dream for me. I just wanted to be loved.  Why don’t you love me for me, dad?

No, my reason for my absence have been less exciting than those. I have this damn job. And with this damn job, there’s these people that want me to do crap for them. I guess since they pay to do this crap, I have to do it. I guess. These people apparently understand that sometimes these job thingies cut into my drinking and blogging time. But after a month of 14 hour days and weekends, that project thingy is done. Thank god. Now back to things that matter.