Archive for August 17th, 2007

7 Things I Learned on the Interweb This Week

August 17, 2007

1. Courtney Love has a MySpace page. Will wonders never cease?

2. There are some real creepy bastards in our industry. WTF?!?!?! What the hell is this? Seriously, this is the creepiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. First, “SEO Pussy” sounds like it sounds – nasty and in poor taste. And then an animated cat? yeah yeah yeah, real clever. A regular friggin’ Bill Cosby. But then the voice of that thing, with that creepy “I’m gonna’ molest your children” laugh? Egads. I really feel like I need a shower. NOW.

3. I need a role model.

4. There’s a reason Donald Duck is still one of my idols. Friggin’ dog-man hybrid bastard deserved what he got. You play with fire, you get exploded.

5. The Worst SEO Blog Ever is apparently on par with porn.

6. You should try this maneuver at your next meeting. Or the next time you get pulled over by a cop for speeding. Or when you’re standing in front of the judge and he’s bitching at you for speeding and offending a cop. Or when you’re standing there in the prison shower about to made into someone’s bitch. Good find, ladies.

7. Criss Angel is not only going to try an old Harry Houdini trick, but he’s also been linked to Britney Spears. OMG!!! Britney friggin’ Spears!!!!! Okay, so there’ s a couple of scenarios that could play out here. First, according to his site, he’s hoping to do this before his throbbing hoard of fans break down the door and see him naked. I don’t know that three guys and an old lady could do that, but it is possible. The real magic trick is how can he still have a freakin’ show. Second, Britney Spears, seriously? SERIOUSLY? He’ s damn near 40; she’s in her early 20’s. But they say love knows no age. Okay, fine. But SHE’S A CRAZY BITCH!!! So here’s what I’m predicting: If scenario one goes badly, Criss Angel gets trampled by half a dozen dudes thinking the double “s” at the end of his name means double sexy. If the second scenario goes badly, then Criss Angel will be made into emo magic boy pie and Britney wears his head like a creepy hat all the way to the looney bin. Either scenario ends with me doing the happy dance and perhaps wondering where Britney found such a large pie tin.