Archive for August 2nd, 2007

7 Sure-Fire Tactics to Get Dugg on Digg

August 2, 2007

Without a doubt, anyone who has anything to do with search marketing has heard about the potent amount of traffic and links one can gain from Diggnation. Though they might not actually read your story or buy your product, for whatever reason this audience is highly valued.

So, how does one take advantage of Digg and get their stories dugg? Simple. Use one or all of the following strategies and you’re destined to reap the rich rewards that await you!

1. Set up 1,594 Digg user accounts and then digg your story. It may be necessary to outsource part of this to India.

2. Make sure there is a picture of some lady’s boobs on the page you want dugg.

3. Write a story that makes an outrageous claim such as “SEO Is For Losers” or “Search Marketers Enjoy Eating Babies, Foi Gras”. Facts are not as important to the story, and to be honest, there aren’t many people who will probably will probably make it much further than the headline. Be sure your claim is in the first sentence or two.

4. Make sure to include a bum-shot of some gal wearing a thong.

5. Write headlines that are sure to whip Digg’s mob mentality into a frenzy, such as “SEO Jerk Calls Diggnation a Dumbacracy” or “Bush Said “Transformers” Sucked and Optimus Prime is Lame”. Again, accuracy is not the key here. Study these people and find out what pushes their collective buttons. In no time you’ll have their pitchforks and torches aimed at your site in the form of links! Hopefully.

6. Post something about iPods, Apple, WoW or anything else you think a pasty-white, 17-year-old boy who rarely sees natural sunlight would like.

7. Make sure there is a photo of a naked woman on the page you want dugg.


August 2, 2007

If you’ve bothered to do more than stop by to quickly learn a potential navel-gazing hipster douchebag lurks here and have read some of the older posts, you know my feelings on Cameron Diaz. I guess for a gal who looks like a dude, she’s okay, other than the fact she bugs the living shit out of me and the only movie she was worth a damn in was that one with the guy who’s the real life son of the guy who played George Costanza’s father on Seinfeld. Remember that movie? It had something to do with a bunch of men having sex in the bushes at a rest stop and something to do with hair gel. Sound familiar?

Some have told me I’m crazy and that not only is Cameron Diaz better than d-list actress, she’s a looker. I don’t agree. And now, thanks to some cat named Bash, I know that I’m not the only one who thinks Cameron Diaz looks mannish.

And yes, I don’t care that as it turns out the person that agrees with me is four years old.