Archive for June 25th, 2007

I May Be an Asshole . . . And a Vanessa Fox FanBoy

June 25, 2007

Okay, so Ms. Fox calls it quits at Google, and some people freak out, and some people, like me yawn. So I put together a post about her quitting, make fun of some people and generally show my ass.

Then she comments on my blog. And says she like the Princess Bride. And I realize I didn’t wish her luck. So, I’m an asshole. But nonetheless, this asshole wishes you luck at Zillow, Vanessa. By the looks of your fan base, it was a wise marketing decision as well as personnel decision. They’re lucky. My company is stuck with me.

Okay, so now that I’ve tried to show that I’m less of an asshole, here comes the scary part. I may be a Vanessa Fox fan boy. You could consider me a part of the paunch-bellied contingent.

After I went back and read her blog, which I always liked because it actually had real life information you could use, I realized I might be a fan boy. Well, maybe fan boy is too strong of a word. Because for everything I thought was cool, there was something I didn’t think was as cool.

This might turn me into a fan boy: the Princess Bride
Perhaps not: Not as much content about the Princess Bride as there is with Buffy

This might turn me into a fan boy: Stealing someone’s pickup to haul boxes
Perhaps not: Not just starting one huge-ass fire with said boxes

This might turn me into a fan boy: This post
Perhaps not: This post

This might turn me into a fan boy: Pictures of Alison Hannigan
Perhaps not: They’re in relation to Buffy (it isn’t that I have anything against Buffy, I just never got into it. And I got tired of hearing about it all the time. Kind of like Pink Floyd and living in the dorms – there’s some shit you just get your fill of.)

This might turn me into a fan boy: The ability to admit there’s questionable music on her iPod
Perhaps not: Instead of it being butt-rock it’s Britney Spears, NSync and Nick Carter (though to her credit, her reasoning as to why is pretty good.)

This might turn me into a fan boy: A very good post about questioning her existence
Perhaps not:TWITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So as you can see, while it’s obvious I’m an asshole, whether or not I’m a Vanessa Fox fan boy is still debatable. Would it be so bad to be one? No, not really. But if I found out she liked shooting road signs and drinking cheap beer (which, incidentally, go together quite well), I’d probably be one. A HUUUUGE one.

iPhone? iCouldGiveAShit.

June 25, 2007

It’s Monday and all the Apple fan boys and girls are wetting themselves in anticipation of the iPhone.  Whooptie-fucking-do.

All I know is that this damn thing only has five hours of battery life (continuous use), you can only use it on AT&T network (and not even their best network!) and every friggin’ hipster with mommy or daddy’s credit card is gonna’ have one.  Guess what?  You can’t even download music on the fly with the damn thing!

The counter arguments are that all of those types of devices have shitty battery life and that the AT&T network it’s using is pretty good and blah blah blah.  But can you imagine trying to type on the keypad (which is done through the touch screen) after rubbing your greasy face against it all day?  Hell no!  Put a keyboard on the damn thing!  And while you’re at, give it more memory or drop the friggin’ price!

I’m not the best person to talk about the pros and cons of this damn iPhone thing.  All I know is I was tired of hearing about it before it came out, and it’s going to be a long friggin’ week.  I think I’m going to avoid Digg for the weak lest I poke my eyes out after reading article after blog post after comment from Applets loving on this damn thing that none of them have even got to hold yet.  If you want a better analysis of the problems, read an article about the cons of the iPhone.