OMG! Google Is Spying On You! And Bears Shit In The Woods!

So, now that I have internet back, I jumped on the Twitter to see what was going on (apparently I had some time to waste after being sans interweb for three weeks).  Looked like the same ol’ same ol’.  Except for everyone passing around an article from the New York Times about people getting all sorts of pissed off about the Google snooping on people and their personal data.

Really?

This is news?

What the fuck?

Getting upset about Google scraping and using your personal data from free products of theirs is like being pissed off that you got diarrhea from eating sushi out of a dumpster on a 90 degree day in Mexico City.  I mean, c’mon!  It’s what they do!  That’s why that shit is free!  It’s not fucking trigonometry!  Let me guess – you also think the new friend you just met in the bathroom gave your that hit of heroin for free just because you have kind eyes?

That doesn’t mean Google isn’t a bunch of assholes.  But seriously, if this surprises you and/or upsets you, then you are in for a rough, rough life.  Let’s just get it over with now.  Those jeans do make you look fat.  We know you only wear a size 7 shoe and those are socks in your trousers.  That isn’t oregano in your kid’s backpack and he isn’t going to be chef, unless you count cooking meth in your basement as being one.  And don’t even ask about your fucking hair cut, ‘cuz it does make you look stupid.

Okay, Motherfuckers. Knock It Off.

So, I got a little holed up in the bunker (read: fucking Hughenet couldn’t fix my internet) and disappeared for a bit.  Alright, I also had other shit I was dealing with, so I ignored this awesome fucking blog (imagine that!) and didn’t check in for a while.  To my surprise, it’s still been getting visited – by fuckhead moron comment spammers!

Okay assholes, lemme’ give you a tip.  This blog?  Horrible source of traffic.  And the links you’re dumping in my comments are automatically nofollowed, so you’re getting no traction there.  Besides, even if for some magically delicious reason they are getting some attention, because they’re not relevant to whatever garbage your peddling and are so poorly done, they’d be automatically discounted anyways.  So, do yourself a favor, and quit wasting your time spamming my comments.  All you’re gonna’ do is piss off the clients that paid you for your “link building services” and get your ass a date with Wapner on the People’s Court.

Besides, I might actually either kill your shit-ass link or just delete your comment.  Or re-type it to make you look like the total douchebag fuckhead you are.

Now go play in traffic.