7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week

Alright, I’m gonna’ level with you all. This week pretty much sucked and you can tell by reading below. The stupid “job-thing” got in the way of me finding anything “mind-blowing” and “learning” anything (except how to use quotation marks!). Yeah, there was some pretty bizarre shit out there, like that crazy book Bagel pointed out at her humor blog or that picture of Matt Cutts Streko shared with me. But pretty much you’re going to read the below, get pissed that you bothered reading this shit and then either send me hate mail (seohack {at} gmail {dot} com) or, if you’re one of the 3 people subscribing to the RSS, dump my feed. But hey, you gotta’ do what you gotta’ do and I gotta’ do what I gotta’ do. So, with out any further ado, let’s jump into this shit puddle!

1. Matt Cutts loves babies. A lot. Perhaps with salsa even.

2. I’m not the only one who thinks there can be too much Robin Williams. Though, thankfully I never had live with the bastard. Sometimes I just want reach through the TV and yell, “Hey! We get it!!! You were all hopped up on coke and now you ain’t!!! But you’re still “wacky” and “edgy”!!!!! Now get the fuck off my fucking TV!!!!!”

3. Apparently it costs $5,000 to keep oneself relevant.

4. Crappy goth poetry + ALL CAPS = The Shit of God? No, it’s pretty much just general everyday shit. And the video pretty much represents everything wrong with the YouTube.

5. Sometimes, some people(s?) in this industry make no sense. I’ve read this five times and it still makes no fucking sense. God, I hope they explain shit better than this to their clients. I think El Tigre summarizes it best.

6. As it turns out Rick Astley is not dead. I mean, literally dead and not alive because Syzlak’s favorite past time is making him popular again. And it seems like he’s pretty cool. And it turns out he’s white – not just white, but English white! I’m guessing I’m the last person to have figured that one out and you all knew that. I’m going to go back under that rock I crawled out from under.  But that story did appear in the LA Times, so maybe he dead?

7. Poison Drummer To Star In New Vh1 Series, Rape Of Love . You’re gonna’ realize this when you click that link, I didn’t write that headline but I so wish I did. Hell, they even used the <em> tag. The fucking <em> tag!!!!! Me, I would have totally fucked that up and took it straight to the gutter with something like “Rikki Rocket Getting A Rocket Ride of His Own – UP THE ASS in a Mississippi Hoosegow!!!” See, you would know it’s mine from the excessive exclamation marks and the reference to male prison butt rape. I was trying to find a way to work “meat rocket” into it, but came up, erm, short. But those geniuses at BestWeekEver.tv, man! They’re so good. Oh – and he’s innocent until proven guilty and all that stuff.

10 Responses to “7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week”

  1. Syzlak Says:

    For someone who hates…everybody, you follow celebrities a little too closely.

  2. ANONYMOUS DEAD RAPPER Says:

    AH SHIT NO. YOU PUSSY, Y U ALL PROPAGATIN THIS SHIT. YOU KNO NEXT THEY GUNNA FIND ME OUT.
    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
    FUCKERS DON’T SLIDE ON THE FLIP, THE SCRIPT WILL BE IN YO SHIT
    BITCH

  3. ONE-PAC Says:

    AHH SHIT SON STEP TO ME YO.

    YOU WANNA BATTLE I WOULD DROP THE ILL KNOWLEDGE ON MIND AND HAVE YOUR SHIT BLOWN OUT.

    U AINT GO NO SKILLZ I BRING THE REAL.

    SAY WORD, PUNK BITCH.

  4. ANONYMOUS DEAD RAPPER Says:

    UH
    UH HUH
    LOOK IT
    SOME BITCH WANNA STEP IN HERE?
    YEA
    YES
    LOOKOUT Y’ALL

    SON U B DROPPING SHIT YOU THINK IS THE REAL DEAL
    LET ME HIP U TO THE TRUTH B4 YOU GET HURT
    YOUR RHYMES AIN’T NOTHING BUT A HAPPY MEAL
    NO NUTRITION, NO SUBSTANCE, LIKE DILBERT
    WITH TIE IN THE AIR
    AND YOUR PUSSY BITCH HAIR

    YOU SAY YOU GOT ILL KNOWLEDGE? PLEASE.

    WATCH YOURSELF WHEN YOU PHILOSOPHIZE
    YOUR LAME RHYMES LEFT US ALL TO AGONIZE

  5. The Bagel of Everything Says:

    OMG IM FAMOUS!@#!

  6. ONE-PAC Says:

    ITS DOIN DOWN LIKE DISSS…

    UHH OHH
    YALL

    UHH OHH
    YALL

    WHEN I TAKE THE MIKE ITS A CRIME
    FOR VERBAL ASSAULT I COMMIT WITH MY RYHMES
    STEP OFF SON YOU WILL NEVER BE TALL
    STICK TO HANGING POSTERS OF DEAD RAPPERS ON YOUR BEDROOM WALL
    MY SHIT IS THE STREETS – I DON’T NEED NO BEAT
    INTRODUCE ME TO YOUR TOES
    AND I STILL WONT MEET DEFEAT…

    STEP OFF SON…
    GO BACK HOME AND ADD SOME GLITTER PICS TO YOUR MYSPACE PROFILE…

  7. ANONYMOUS DEAD RAPPER Says:

    HA HA
    HA HA
    HOPE YOU DIDN’T THINK THAT WAS YOUR VICTORY SONG
    DID YOU THINK THIS WAS DONE?
    BETTER STRAP YO ASS IN CAUSE THIS JUST BEGUN

    THINK YOU PRETTY CLEVER WITH YOUR RHYMING PUNS?
    THAT SHIT IS AMATEUR RHYMING SON
    TAKE A STEP BACK WATCH HOW THIS BE DONE
    I COME OUT BLAZING WITH MY LYRICAL GUNS
    AND I’LL HIT YOU LIKE KANYE WITH THE CULTURE, POP

    YOU BETTER TAKE THAT SHIT BACK TO YO OWN HOOD
    BEFORE YOU TOO LATE AND GET “MISUNDERSTOOD”
    CAUSE I’D BET YOU’D RATHER LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY
    SO GET YOUR ASS BACK TO MELMAC – GORDON SCHUMWAY

  8. ONE-PAC Says:

    WOW

    HA HA
    HA AH
    BOOM

    YOUR RHYMES – I MUST SAY – SUCK A FAT ONE
    CAN U SAY A WHOLE VERSE WITH OUT RHYMING “UN”
    MY LYRICS MAKE YOU SHAKE LIKE U WAS KICKIN DOPE
    YOUR LIFES ON THE LINE – LEAVING HERE IS YOUR ONLY HOPE.
    FACE IT SON MY SHIT WILL ALWAYS BE HOTTER,
    & BESIDES – ITS NOT NICE TO TALK THIS WAY TO YOUR STEP-FADDAH..

  9. Matt Davies Says:

    Rick Astley would never…

  10. 7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week « The Worst SEO Blog Ever! Says:

    […] this one is a stretch.  In order to get this comment, you would have had to read and remembered last week’s 7. And this is proof this week’s 7 really, really sucked. But still, that’s pretty damn […]

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