7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week

Alright, I’m gonna’ level with you all. This week pretty much sucked and you can tell by reading below. The stupid “job-thing” got in the way of me finding anything “mind-blowing” and “learning” anything (except how to use quotation marks!). Yeah, there was some pretty bizarre shit out there, like that crazy book Bagel pointed out at her humor blog or that picture of Matt Cutts Streko shared with me. But pretty much you’re going to read the below, get pissed that you bothered reading this shit and then either send me hate mail (seohack {at} gmail {dot} com) or, if you’re one of the 3 people subscribing to the RSS, dump my feed. But hey, you gotta’ do what you gotta’ do and I gotta’ do what I gotta’ do. So, with out any further ado, let’s jump into this shit puddle!

1. Matt Cutts loves babies. A lot. Perhaps with salsa even.

2. I’m not the only one who thinks there can be too much Robin Williams. Though, thankfully I never had live with the bastard. Sometimes I just want reach through the TV and yell, “Hey! We get it!!! You were all hopped up on coke and now you ain’t!!! But you’re still “wacky” and “edgy”!!!!! Now get the fuck off my fucking TV!!!!!”

3. Apparently it costs $5,000 to keep oneself relevant.

4. Crappy goth poetry + ALL CAPS = The Shit of God? No, it’s pretty much just general everyday shit. And the video pretty much represents everything wrong with the YouTube.

5. Sometimes, some people(s?) in this industry make no sense. I’ve read this five times and it still makes no fucking sense. God, I hope they explain shit better than this to their clients. I think El Tigre summarizes it best.

6. As it turns out Rick Astley is not dead. I mean, literally dead and not alive because Syzlak’s favorite past time is making him popular again. And it seems like he’s pretty cool. And it turns out he’s white - not just white, but English white! I’m guessing I’m the last person to have figured that one out and you all knew that. I’m going to go back under that rock I crawled out from under.  But that story did appear in the LA Times, so maybe he dead?

7. Poison Drummer To Star In New Vh1 Series, Rape Of Love . You’re gonna’ realize this when you click that link, I didn’t write that headline but I so wish I did. Hell, they even used the <em> tag. The fucking <em> tag!!!!! Me, I would have totally fucked that up and took it straight to the gutter with something like “Rikki Rocket Getting A Rocket Ride of His Own - UP THE ASS in a Mississippi Hoosegow!!!” See, you would know it’s mine from the excessive exclamation marks and the reference to male prison butt rape. I was trying to find a way to work “meat rocket” into it, but came up, erm, short. But those geniuses at BestWeekEver.tv, man! They’re so good. Oh - and he’s innocent until proven guilty and all that stuff.