Originally, this was going to be an angry rant about how fucking MSN (which I hate) used my schandenfreude against me. But now, all I am is tired and disappointed.
See, one of my favorite things in the world are horrible baby names. Whether intentionally or accidentally cruel, these parents are raising the next crop of prank call recipients, outcasts, angry service station workers and axe murderers. Plus, they’re fun! Seeing some poor bastard named Asswipe (pronounced ahhzzweeepay) Johnson or Anita Biggins just makes a jerk like me feel better.
So, when I see an article on MSN’s homepage portal thingy about horrible baby names, I clicked it with glee. I thought perhaps maybe, just maybe, I’ve been wrong about the MSN, Microsoft and their wanting to take over Yahoo!. But, instead of an article, all I got was a one page, two paragraph ad for a fucking book. Great. A fucking book. Thanks, assholes.
Now, this is where I’d usually go into some tirade about how I hate MSN, how they can’t tell their ass from a hole in the ground or some other such anger. But not this time. I’m too tired to give a shit about how these people are their own worst enemy. I don’t have the energy to comment on how a Microsoft take over of Yahoo! is only going to bolster Google’s market share. Nor do I have the strength to suggest MSN take a page from Ask’s book but instead of doing something assinine like focusing their search engine on pregnant married women, MSN tailoring their search engine to douchebags.
Nope. Instead I’m just going to say, calmly, that you people suck. Your hotmail sucks, your reach-around from MSNBC, NBC and Newsweek sucks and you people deserve the turd sandwich you’ve made for yourselves. And you can tell I’m saying this calmly and cooly because I’m not using exclamation points. Or all caps.